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Message Board > Special Interest Forums & Discussion Groups > Sex Advice: Ask and Give Advice   How to say no.

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  #1  
Old 29th April 2006, 04:06 AM
Cruiser
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 9
How to say no.

I posted an ad on the Ohio message board and got a couple responses. The problem is that the responses we (we advertised as a couple) received didn't really trip our triggers. But one of the respondents stooped to calling the ad bogus simply because we didn't take him up on his offer.

How have you or would you respond to such a remark? Does the remark deserve a posted reply?
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  #2  
Old 29th April 2006, 08:29 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 64
Send a message via AIM to sbstudtop Send a message via Yahoo to sbstudtop
No reply necessary

I say no reply is necessary. Those of us who have been online for many years have intuitively learned that a certain percentage of the online respondents are not worth the effort. Some are just playing games because they can, anonymously. Let it go and chalk it up to a lesson learned.
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  #3  
Old 29th April 2006, 10:06 PM
Cruiser
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 59
I guess you decided a reply was necessary.

You eventually did tell the guy, "[w]hile we may be in our 40s and a bit overweight, we are not desperate. Feel free to assume that if we don't respond we aren't interested."

While I agree he should have taken the hint, if you want to limit the age of the men you are interested in, why not take the time to say so in your original post. Since you did not, you could have sent a private message to the guy stating you were not interested. Instead, you sent a public response implying that one, or in your case a couple, would have to be desparate to consider having sex with him. I can only assume that his age prompted this reply.

Perhaps your next post should read two bears with an attitude looking for a mouth to feed. By the way, if one of you is 46, that's not the "early 40's."
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  #4  
Old 1st May 2006, 09:17 AM
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Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 53
Baiting ...

Feeders --

There is an increase in the number of people who make a hobby of baiting posters. It's childish and is (in my opinion) one of the reasons that interest and use of this board is waning (and narrowing to the "regulars", who are becoming fewer and fewer).

I can see why you wanted to post a public reply, since it had been implied (in public) that your ad was fake. I probably would have left out the word 'desperate', but no one likes their integrity challenged.

As for the age "issue" (which didn't seem to me to be an issue in any of YOUR posts, perhaps only in the minds of some readers?) ... I interpreted your reponse to be "Because we are not 20-year-old porn-stars, please do not assume that we did not have any other offers, or that we are bound to make a date with any or all responders".
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  #5  
Old 21st May 2006, 09:45 PM
KewlDewd66's Avatar
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 400
Freedom of Choice When Cruising Online

On a similar note: even if the guy(s) fulfill(s) all the requirements as stated, such as age, looks, attitude, role preference, etc., each and every cruiser has still got every right to politely say 'No, thanks'.

Criteria stated is meant to help prospective responders decide, if they generally fit, and thus eliminate the unnecessary communication and waste of time, if they basically don't.

So, yeah, if you are a lean, safe bttm dude in your mid-20's, plus easy on the eyes, feel free to contact me here. Chances are that I would be interested. This by no means that I am interested in 'for sure', or that anyone is under any kind of obligation to date, get physical or even explain his grounds for possible rejection.

Once a dude says, 'No', just move on. Do not waste your time and don't waste his time either. If he changes his mind, it'll be up to him to hit you back and up to you to decide, if you want to take him up on it.

KD
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