Reminder For Hookup Caution: New CL-Related Death

infopop · #1 11th March 2015, 10:46 AM

I'm sharing this news story from Upstate New York of a 62 y/o man stabbed to death and lit on fire to remind you use sensible caution when hooking up with strangers, whether through Craigslist, hookup apps, other web sites or this one, for that matter. Consider meeting in a public place and taking some time to get to know each other and build trust before taking it to a private place. Use your best judgement based on the place, person, and context.

Here is an excerpt of the story and a link to the site which shows a copy of the original CL ad.

Quote:

WATERTOWN — City police are not releasing any possible motives in the stabbing death of a Morrison Street man whose body was also lit on fire in an apparent attempt to hide the crime.

Kyle A. Box, 18, a junior at Carthage Central School, faces second-degree murder charges in the death of Randy J. Bent, 62, of 821 Morrison St. Police began investigating the case as a murder when firefighters reported to them the victim had multiple stab wounds.

Box was arrested on Monday after admitting to police he stabbed Mr. Bent several times then set him on fire Sunday night, police said. An autopsy was conducted Monday afternoon, but the results have not been released.

Police continue to withhold information about how Box and Mr. Bent knew each other, saying that information is evidentiary.

Two of Mr. Bent’s friends, [redacted for privacy], said Mr. Bent — who was openly gay — often went on Craigslist to meet men. They said they warned him to stay away from the online personal classified ads because they feared for his safety.

On Tuesday afternoon, the Times found a listing in the casual encounters section of the website under the heading “18-year-old in need of help — m4m (carthage).”

The personal went on to say “Hello my name is Kyle and I’ve had trouble looking for a job so if anyone out their needs someone to give them a good time and call or text me i’ll gladly give you something you wont forget. :)”

See: the entire story from the Watertown Daily Times.

You are welcome to discuss your own experiences, safety suggestions, etc.

jonn3 · #2 11th March 2015, 01:35 PM

Very sad and very scary -

Thanks for the reminder to be safe....

KewlDewd66 · #3 15th March 2015, 01:31 AM

The problem with common sense is that it is not very common at all, as Voltaire supposedly said.

Another powerful red flag here is the idea of someone posting that he has problems getting a job, and was looking for someone to give them good time.

A dude who needs a job, should really focus his search on what he needs - a job. Good time with other dudes can go on a back burner for a while.

KD

infopop · #4 18th March 2015, 10:02 AM

Here's another story about a Miami meeting via a hookup app (not identified) that led to a home invasion robbery:

Quote:

According to police, the victim set up a first-time meeting with a man through a smart phone dating app. When the man showed up Monday night, the victim let him into his home on Northwest 21st Avenue.

But once inside, the suspect pulled out a gun and told the victim to lay face-down on his bed while he let his accomplice into the home, police said.

The robbers ransacked the home and fled the scene to a waiting vehicle. A neighbor had called 911 and officers arrived at the scene as the suspects got to the car.

The teens fled on foot but were caught and taken into custody. A third suspect is still at large, authorities said.

The full story is here: http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/T...296659091.html

This comes to us via: Joe. My. God: http://joemygod.blogspot.com/

Joe also passes along an interesting infographic and story about how people use hookup apps.

Quote:

45% of Guys Who Actually Meet Don’t Hook Up. In other words, almost half the time two guys meet, one of them says, “Thanks but no thanks.” The high number of bail-outs might surprise some, given that two strangers who’ve spent a fair amount of time trading pictures (including their penises!), texting, and one assumes, sometimes talking on the phone or Skyping, would NOT end up in each other’s arms. On the other hand, it might be understandable given the amount of lying about age, height and weight (see above). If you thought you were meeting a young hottie and the guy that shows up is so old he owes Jesus ten bucks for the lumber, you’re probably going to bail.

50% of Guys Who Agree To Meet Do It In Their Homes. Giving a complete stranger your street address and greeting him at the door could be seen as brave or stupid, depending on your point of view. Given that 45% of encounters don’t end up in a hookup one assumes there are a lot of very awkward moments when you realize you don’t want to sleep with the stranger you’ve just invited into your living room.

http://grabhim.net/2015/03/17/read-t...y-dating-apps/

KewlDewd66 · #5 20th March 2015, 01:34 AM

No doubt, the apps have taken over these days. The actual real life cruising is seriously down at many places.

Safety used to be a matter of somewhat lesser concern. You were not taking each and every hookup back home

. There were all those backrooms, spas, clubs. Actually, few guys would even want to go that far on their first encounter. You were not getting married to this guy anyway... So, if it turned out to be that good in the first place, you'd probably get together again at a more private place.

Once the heteronorm invaded the gay world, and the word started spreading that you need to meet, know, romance, etc., the guy you were going to mess around with, the ballgame changed.

Sure, it is totally stupid to send someone your home address, without checking him out first in public, and kinda interviewing him for the job? But you could see where this was coming from.

In the end, you'd still have to take the App dude to your place if you wanted to have sex with him. Now, he may have passed his little "job interview" at the neighboring Bucks with flying colors only to turn into a common, if armed robber once he steps over the threshold of your home... .

I guess, we just need to be patient a bit, and see a new generation of gay venues rise, modelled around the requirements of the new world we live in

infopop · #6 20th March 2015, 10:34 AM

Speaking just for myself, I was always happier and more successful in a park, at a beach, in a sexclub, at a backroom bar, or so on. On the other hand, I'm 53 and sometimes I feel like a relic. Even conventional hookup web sites from the earlier days of the Internet, before apps, were not really for me. I always wanted to see the guy(s) first, feel a connection of some sort, then act on the feeling and judgement at the moment. Spontaneity was the thing.

Truth be told, since Keith passed on in 2012 and my partner has also been increasingly more disabled, my time is consumed by managing these websites and being a caregiver. Little time is left over for me except to observe the scene and watch it evolve. I'm grateful for your observations, not to mention everyone who uses and posts on CRUISING for SEX.

KewlDewd66 · #7 21st March 2015, 01:14 AM

I strongly believe that you are by no means an exception, Infopop. I cannot think of anyone whom I know, and who really likes the apps, the portals MORE than they do the real life cruising.

As with so many things in life, the vast majority have decided to sacrifice the joy of living in favor of the simple convenience and comfort.

Going out requires action and discipline. Few cruising places in the world are good 24/7. You need to look your best, and you need to be there when the other dudes frequent the place, too. This takes effort, possibly travel, some expense, determination, discipline...

Double tapping on a small icon on your smartphone does not take anything of the above. So, yeah, you are kind a cruising around. Usually not much really happens but it feels free of charge, and it is very easy to accomplish.

If it doesn't cost you anything, it ain't worth anything either applies here, too!

infopop · #8 23rd March 2015, 10:17 AM

Quote:

If it doesn't cost you anything, it ain't worth anything either applies here, too!

Agreed, 100%!

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