Like others, I hardly think that the pursuit of sex is disturbing or a waste of time. The reply above sounds like the ramblings of someone who "found" religion and is ashamed of their "evil" desires.

Obviously, some members here spend more time going to bars and saunas and theatres and massage places than others, but then again I'm sure I listen to music and eat more guava than most people too. We're all different and that's just part of life's rich pagaent.

I've been living in Bangkok for almost 12 years and find myself going out to bars less and less. That initial "wow" factor has lost its charm, but every once in a while (once a month; sometimes more often, sometimes much less) I'll go out and see what's on offer. The saunas never hooked me and I still haven't warmed up to the massage places. I use to frequent the old London Theatre a bit (it's not far from where I live) and spent a few unproductive afternoons at one dark den in Saphan Khwai, but the theatres never did much for me either.

Basically, I'm looking for both good sex and companionship. I crave affection more than anything. I've found several guys over the years who have become repeat visitors to my place, three of whom I consider to be good friends. Had one guy over last night that I've known for 10 years. Every year who celebrate his birthday together. I like doing that. I'm realistic enough to realize that the money I give these guys plays a BIG part in their returning to my place again and again, but I also feel like we've become friends of sorts. It's not just the sex that bonds us. We'll go out together to eat at restaurants, go bowling, see a band play at a bar, see a movie. Just normal stuff.

I won't lie; the availability of attractive younger guys was a big motivation for me moving here, but I also fell in love with other things about Thailand; the culture, the food, the people, and the laid back atmosphere. I shudder to think at the thought of living back in the USA again. No way. Thailand is my home now and I truly feel comfortable here.

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Hearty agreement here. Don't forget the tropical climate if you are a heat freak like me!

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Which was largely my point. There's a lot on offer in Thailand and in our individual lives regardless of where we are living, in addition to the eye candy that is so readily available.

I too was overwhelmed when I first came here on holiday and discovered gogo bars and "a special boy."

I bought a condo here, spent as much as 3 or 4 months a year here and eventually settled here more or less permanently.

My life has revolved largely around 3 guys who I've had as long term friends in succession, a small groups of guys who I see fairly frequently, but just as very short-term encounters and the occasional foray into the bars in Bangkok or Pattaya.

I am sure most of us keep all of this in perspective and the "wow factor" has faded over the years, but there are times (maybe it's the phases of the moon ??) when I seem to be driven to hit the bars and massage places looking for something ... probably as you mention, affection and a personal, intimate interaction ... and wonder if I am overlooking what I already have ... a really wonderful longterm relationship and several other guys whose occasional "companionship" is always fun.

It's unfortunate that some people view my comments as a threat to their way of life. We probably have more in common than they realize. Just as we offer advice on the bars and massage venues, maybe we can sometimes help one another to avoid being carried away by it all.

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My one and only visit to Bangkok brought about a very interesting interaction with the bellman. After placing my bags, rather than the usual thing about getting ice, etc, he inquired if I was into boys or girls and said he could help me find either. This was not some whore house. I believe it was the Shangri-La. I certainly came to realize the Thai operate with a different attitude about sexuality. I can see where it would be intoxicating to a foreigner. In the end, though, the extreme heat of the climate and the pollution and noise of the city kept me out for more than a few days. Which reminds me: another visit is long overdue!

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A lot of people get commissions for referring sex workers. Taxi drivers do this, too.

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