Bad hook up

samgone · #1 19th March 2006, 10:40 AM

Hey Guys--have you ever had a bad hook up that you feel like you never have sex again? I had an experience this week that was so bad in so many ways that it left me limp for several days.

GayWhiteTrash · #2 19th March 2006, 11:48 AM

I've had some bad hook ups before, everybody does, but none so bad that I didn't want sex again. I'd like to hear details of a hook up so bad that celibacy was the outcome.

KewlDewd66 · #3 19th March 2006, 11:18 PM

Experience...
Hey SG

If you have lots of experience, some of it is more likely than not to be bad and a fraction of it is most likely BAD big time...

If you feel like venting it all out, do so.

But, yeah, been there done that and was lucky nuf to move on.

KD

samgone · #4 22nd March 2006, 12:53 PM

I don't want to denigrate the guy, which is why I don't want to go into specifics (in case he reads CFS), but it was one of those experiences that occured because I was extremely horny and not thinking clearly. I've concluded that these anonymous computer hook-ups just aren't worth the energy. And given that my options are limited, it gets exasperating that a quality fuck buddy is so difficult to find.

ScruffyCub · #5 4th April 2006, 06:02 PM

Had a couple bad encounters that kept me out of commission for a few DAYS, but certainly nothing that ever made me consider giving up cruising entirely. Fuck, I've been cruising since I was fourteen... have had a LOT of rotten shit go down.

You're right that it is tough to find a good fuck buddy, though. I'm rather to the point that I'd like to come across a guy I can hang with often, but so far... each and every one of them has some issue that blow it all to hell. Meanwhile, I'll just keep doing what I do and enjoy my encounters for what they are.

You said you realize this problem of yours that happened was the result of not thinking clearly. That's OK. Like most things in life, just consider it a learning experience. It seems unlikely to me that you'd repeat whatever mistake you think you made. Don't fret too much over it. Take what you have learned and move on. And whatever you do, don't allow yourself to believe that there are no decent guys out there. Even when it is just casual sex and even when the dude may not be a great potential fuck buddy, it is certainly possible to meet GREAT guys and have a lot of fun with them and go your separate ways. Enjoy each encounter for what it is.

ButchMascGuy · #6 12th April 2006, 01:56 AM

The thing about anonymous cruising is that some of our tricks treat us to experiences that we never expected from a fellow cruiser. If you are an active cruiser and your lifestyle is filled with many anonymous tricks, you stand a good chance to have an experience that makes you rethink many things about your lifestyle.

So, what did you learn from this bad hookup experience? Bad experiences do teach us something about ourselves and other people. Let's face it. Shit happens for a reason. Look at all the shit that has happened to Scruffy who has been cruising since age 14. Bad hookups do happen and we learn from those experiences. We may need to make a few adjustments in our lives and then move on with our lives.

Stay positive and focused. Learn from this one bad experience and make changes in your lifestyle if needed. Then, get busy again and move on with your life.

samgone · #7 12th April 2006, 10:35 PM

The worst part about the experience is that it made me feel like a pathetic loser. I realize all hookups won't be ideal, but have I gotten so desperate or lonely that I'll hookup with anyone?

I'm feeling a lot better now. Thanks, guys, for your support.

KewlDewd66 · #8 13th April 2006, 12:16 AM

OK, we all hit a dry spell now and then.

Desperation and loneliness are usual consequences thereof, but that's not always for the worst. We neither change nor re-invent ourselves for as long as everything is running just fine. So, why fix it, when it ain't broke.

So, breaking down is actually a good experience. Not just because you learned something new but also because you have got something to work on. Things to try, new people to meet, new places to go, whatever.

None of us here really knows what happened with your bad hookup and sure none of it is any of our business here. Yet, most of the guys here would agree that cruising ain't for faint-hearted guys. You have got to handle all kinds of guys and all kinds of situations. It simply comes with the territory.

I have learned to take it all in its stride. Yet, I am getting more alert and careful each time I get going. Nope, there is no velvet underground out there and you've got to recognize that, too.

Take care,

KD

ScruffyCub · #9 18th April 2006, 02:08 PM

Hey, Sam:

Glad to hear you are feeling better. I've been away from CFS for a week or so, busy with actual cruising!

Wanted to add that having read your clarification... yeah, I've had a few encounters that made me feel like shit. Specifics don't matter much, but a recent example was the dude who said he couldn't handle "ass smell," making me believe my ass was rancid or something! This irked me for several days, but I knew my ass was squeaky-clean and I got over it. Have had others like that, too.

BUT... the majority of my cruising encounters are exceptionally positive. Most guys make me feel great about myself, and I do my very best to return the favor. It's always best if we both walk away happy.

Bottom line for me: men rock. Assholes exist and you can't always avoid them, but most dudes are genuinely good guys. Focus on the cool dudes and dismiss the jerkoffs; they aren't worth your time.

Take it easy.

ButchMascGuy · #10 19th April 2006, 03:16 AM

Samgone ~

Don't lose your sense of humor as you mend your bruised self-esteem from a bad experience. Just remember to never step on the toes of someone who's ass you might have to kiss later.