Yes... VOICE. Hear me out:

I finally met up with my dog groomer bud that I met online a few weeks ago, the one I was ticked off at for not getting in touch with me. Long story short: it was an email SNAFU, with AOL tossing my email into his spam folder. Or so he says. It's neither here nor there anymore since he actually showed up to meet me with as much enthusiasm for it as he said he had the first few times we talked online.

While arranging a possible meeting online, we each discussed all the usual stuff in order to make sure we felt sexually compatible. At one point, I said something along the lines of: "It will be nice to meet a nice, normal, masculine guy for a change." He said: "Uh-oh..." and then went on to tell me that he wasn't "super-masculine."

Well, that's OK with me. Not everyone has to be one hundred percent butch (unless I'm picking out a lifetime partner). Also, not being "super-masculine" seemed to indicate to me that he simply wasn't a linebacker or a pro-wrestler. I'm a butch dude, but I'm also not "super-masculine." I guess I'm just whatever I am, though admittedly not one who can be picked out as gay by the general public.

Anyway, we arranged to meet last night, and I told him I'd call him if I couldn't make it online by a certain time. This is what happened, so I dialed him up. When he answered, I suddenly remembered that "Uh-oh," comment of his and quickly realized that this guy couldn't even hide his sexuality from a BLIND person.

Still, I'd promised to meet him, and I still wanted to. I had, after all, liked his photo, and he didn't look all too fem in that picture, though I know enough by now not to make assumptions based on photos. Also, because of his previous horrible experiences with OTHER guys, I would have felt just awful rejecting him and adding to his low self esteem. So he got the green light to come over.

As it turns out, he was quite a nice guy, and just about everything I'd thought about him turned out to be true. He hung out for about three hours and sucked my dick like a pro for almost all of that time. In fact, he was quite outstanding. It felt like I dumped a couple gallons of cum on him by the time we finished up.

I was attracted to his photo, but since I had heard his voice before I met him, I kind of worried that he might match that voice in manner and feature when I saw him. So we met in a darkened room, but he had requested this anyway, to put himself at ease, so that was fine.

Problem being two-fold: I had wanted to be more intimate with him, but I'll admit to being attracted ONLY to average or masculine men. I can't really enjoy sucking the dick of a guy who is much less butch than I am. Shame on me, I guess, but that's how it goes. Also, I was happy that he was expressive and REALLY into my dick, yet when he had a mouthful of cock and said things like: "GOOD dick," it just didn't have the same appeal as when said by a masculine type of guy, know what I mean? I didn't lose my erection from this, but... I guess I was wishing for something that I wasn't going to get.

Later, he kept talking about how beautiful he thought my dick was. Hey, we all like to hear that. He said he wanted to see more of it, so I lit a candle. He still looked good to me in the dim, flickering light. When we were done, with the lights on, he did match his photo quite well. He even had nice blue eyes and good, strong hands. Bad haircut, but that's trivial! He didn't really mince around or anything; he wasn't a stereotypical TV queen. But that voice... oh, man... it was so, so bad... I know lesbians who sound more masculine, but I guess that's not any real stretch.

We talked a bit about his previous bad experiences. I felt sorry for him. He is not unattractive and there's no reason why anyone would not answer the door for him, assuming they haven't yet heard him speak! He told me I could have him over anytime I wanted my dick sucked and he'd be happy to oblige. He's serious, too.

I WILL invite him back, that's not much of a question. The doubts I have are if I'll ever be able to feel that necessary feeling of attracting which would get me to want to do things for HIM. I just don't see it happening, at least perhaps not to the degree he might want (though I'm not entirely certain exactly what he might want or expect in the future at this point).

If I were to tell him I don't want to see him anymore, not only will this devastate him emotionally, just because he has been rejected so many times before, but it would be unfair to both of us, I think: I've got the dick he wants, and I certainly want to experience his hot mouth again.

So... how to go about it without insulting him? I don't want to be selfish and just use him for sex, but in essence, he WANTS to be used for sex -- he is a perfect submissive cocksucker who gets off on pleasing a nice dick.

I feel a little embarrassed to say so, but I could not go out in public with this fella. I sure can't see myself dating him, but that's not even a consideration: you guys know I'm not looking for that. So what's the harm in some private fun? Will it give him the wrong idea, even though I made myself clear about dating and all of that kind of stuff? I guess I'll find out what he expects given time, but I think we're on the same page, though I've certainly been wrong about that before!

Granted, most of the time he can't say much since my dick is shoved WAY down the back of his throat (one of the first GOOD deepthroaters I've had in a long time, too). But even his moans and sighs of pleasure are just... so... fem. Oy...

I guess I can deal with it. I think mostly I was just REALLY shocked or surprised. I didn't expect THIS level of "gayspeak." If I saw this dude out in public, I'd look at him. I would probably think maybe he's gay, but I wouldn't bet the farm on it -- unless I heard him talk, in which case I'd fork over every dollar I had to the nearest bookie.

As long as he doesn't get carried away emotionally, I think I can accept it. Just a bit of a let down. I have nothing against fem guys, I'm simply not turned on by them.

Is this hypocritical of me in some way I'm not seeing? Or should I just shut up myself and consequently shut HIM up with my dick and have a good time?

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Thanks for the opinion, and I welcome others, too.

Just to clarify: this wasn't so much a spur of the moment type of thing. We'd talked before and found many mutual interests. I was SERIOUSLY disappointed when this guy didn't contact me after we missed each other the first time around.

I would get together with him again with little hesitation. He's truly a good guy at heart, it's easy to see that. My problem is that I wanted to do more with him than just let him suck me off. Not that I'd turn that down again, but I AM concerned that this is about all I'd be able to do. I could give him a nice massage, probably kiss him (his face is certainly appealing), and I know for sure that he loved giving me head... I just can't see myself adopting ANY sort of more submissive type of posture with him. When I want to please a guy's dick, it needs to be attached to a masculine dude...

See, I so rarely get to enjoy a dick myself that I was looking forward to it. I'm not a cocksucker per se, but I am a gay man and of course I like dick! I'm comfortable in my role as suckee, but I'm not entirely selfish in that I refuse to give anything in return (though some guys do insist on this).

I imagine I'll talk again with him and gauge his feelings, see if he asks for anything in particular. I just don't want to mislead him, and while I am a guy who likes to be completely honest as often as I possibly can, I also don't want to hurt his feelings. Yeah, he'd survive and his life will go on, but... it would please me greatly if I could help boost his ego a bit rather than knock it down.

Here's one case where it would have been helpful if the guy was an outright asshole -- it would be so much easier to pretend to be "busy" the next few times he asked to meet up...

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probably a tad over-analyzing ur plight looks like , seems u have a few good things that occurred ::
1- the guy was upfront about bein less than masc , so hes honest
2- he gives u awesome head ...major plus
3- he DID show up when scheduled, usually only a 40% chance with fellas on here

SO ! if hes not really ur type, as in not recipricating cuz hes a femboi, just let him know it was cool hooking up and be done with it, why not be HONEST with HIM ? Not necessarily telling him the reason is cuz hes very femmy, but even if you did i'm sure he'd appreciate ur pref's and realize some guys dont like fem's ... more than likely hed suck ur dick once more for the road, lol !!
As for me, I'm a pretty picky kid, as most gaybois are, but femmy vs. masc doesnt really matter, if the boi looks hot, does all the usual sex acts fine, im good to go, lol One fuck bud of mine @ school is very fem , but man we have mad hot sex., hehe ! good luck in ur dilema , but its not really as difficult to rectify as u may think man !

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There's a guy I know that has one of those "fem" voices. In reality he's a fantastic tenor and is otherwise very masculine. But when he sings-angelic!!

Scruffy, sounds like this guy has the perfect tenor voice also. Nothing fem about it-just a different octave.

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Thanks, guys.

ShyKid has a point: probably I'm over-analyzing since I'm not looking at this as objectively as I should.

I'll take it day by day. After all, we didn't agree to start dating and fall in love -- it's just sex. At least, I HOPE this one realizes that at any rate! He seemed highly satisfied doing what we did, so if that makes him happy... works for me, too. I sure won't beat around the bush and play games with the guy, though. If he wants more than I can give, I'll be as tactfully honest with him as I can.

Ran into him online last night, and he seemed ready, willing and able to stop by, hinting around that he wanted a repeat performance. Alas, the website chat crashed many times and we never finalized any sort of plans and did not finish our conversation. He could have called me, but maybe he felt he'd better not without permission or whatever. I would have called him but I know he has his sister and young niece staying with him, and it was too late to ring the phone and "wake the baby."

I have to admit, I've never really run into this before, and I'd thought I'd seen it all (guess not). I imagine that's why I felt it was worth posting. Cool guy, bad voice. But yes, at least he was honest with me, and THAT is something you don't find much these days. He deserves credit for that.

It does seem that these types of situations resolve naturally on their own, as others have done in the past (though the two cyber "stalkers" I had problems with STILL send messages to me at least once a week).

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Scruff,

Is it possible that as you cruise along enjoying whatever magnficent sex comes your way, that you are also seeking a more permanent relationship and just possibly this guy was seeming to fill the bill for more than just magnificent sex and then you hear his voice and your over analysis of the situation is just your psyche letting you know know that you're just really, really disappointed that you thought you might have found HIM and this young man just isn't? Run on sentences can be such fun when you drink too much cappucino!

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Appreciate the fun analysis, there, Cane, but no... I am not seeking "IT" or "HIM" in any way whatsoever.

Since I've discussed this here many times, I see no need to get exceptionally long-winded about it again. Suffice to say that I am very much in tune with my inner self and I fully understand my needs and desires at this time. While I am a human being and subject to the same battles between Id, Ego and Superego as everyone else, I find no clues which tell me I am looking for anything more than sex.

I DO desire more intimate sexual encounters from time to time, though -- but admittedly, the vast majority of experiences for me are satisfying enough. There was no hidden agenda or hope or dream here -- I just liked the guy's face. He has a look that I find appealing and I would have enjoyed kissing him and/or being more active in reciprocation, though I always fall back into my more dominant role, but that's just my own personal sexual style which hasn't changed in many years.

Once in a great while I'll have a dream about holding a guy and enjoy the intimacy found there in this dream state, but these are few and far between. I'd be lying if I said I never get lonely -- yet these moments of loneliness are fleeting at best. In all honesty, I'd say I'm quite content at least 95% of the time.

I DO think to the future, however, and I DO desire a partner at some point in my life. It's just not that time right now. Right now, what I'd like is a buddy or two who hangs out with me for some good sex, a guy with whom I share a mutual attraction -- and a guy who gets the hell OUT of here after we spill a few loads of semen. I know... FAT CHANCE! Greedy, too. I'm aware of that. "I'm into you, buddy, thanks for the great time, now I need to chill out alone on my sofa and watch a DVD. Bye." Good luck with that! Most men want much more -- and I understand that and don't blame them.

The thing is, I see a lot of people REALLY reaching to find partners or even various guys to date. I never have done this and I doubt I ever will. If I ever meet someone and I get a feeling from him that maybe there can be something more, I'm quite sure I'll know it. And if I'm limiting myself or detracting from this possible outcome by JUST having sex -- well, then clearly the time isn't right. If my present actions preclude me getting to know someone, I'm obviously doing it for a reason: I don't have that desire right now.

There's this annoying, whining young kid I sometimes see in chat. He talks about how badly he wants a boyfriend to go do things with, yet all the other chatters in his clique always ask him what happened to the LAST boyfriend they thought he was dating. He goes from man to man and isn't satisfied. So there's someone who dates and TRIES to find a partner to no avail. He's FAR more miserable than I'll ever be -- and he's rude and nasty because of his unfulfilled desires.

I've discovered that life has a way of balancing things out quite nicely. Even the worst of situations have their purpose. My ex leaving me turned out to be the best thing, in the end, and after much heartache. When my needs become great, I'll know it. This doesn't mean I'll actively TRY to find someone who can fill those needs, but I'll bet big bucks that if I take it day to day, that balancing act will ultimately fill any void.

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