To me finding unexpected dick can be the best of all. You're not looking for it and there it is.

I'm not going into great detail but this morning driving into work at 5:30 I met a guy driving a dumptruck. We pulled on to a dark side street and I got in the cab of his truck. Just to get things started I went down on him. As soon as my lips touched his cock he started to cum. I was in and out of his truck in less than 3 minutes.

What causes a guy to do that? Is it physical or psychological? We could have had a great time together if he could have lasted a little longer.

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I take a quick cummer as a compliment. To be able to get a guy so wound so quickly that he can't take much and he's over the top--can be a power trip in itself.

You ever find yourself in traffic and simmering in horniness? You might have just caught him at the right time. And maybe all he had time for was a quick blowjob.

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I'd LIKE to try to convince myself that PE is a compliment, but I'm afraid I can't wrap my head around that concept.

I tend to believe that guys who cum THAT fast ALWAYS have this problem. I doubt they are EVER in control. As much as I'd like to think I am the reason they are so turned on, I don't believe it for a minute.

In fact, I find myself getting rather pissed off when this happens. But only for a moment. After that, it becomes kind of funny, though I don't ever laugh in a guy's face! I DO laugh to myself later!

I've had this happen three times since cruising the ABS here in NY.

One dude was cruising me VERY intently. We're talking hardcore cruising here. LONG stares, moving in closer than necessary, repeatedly walking by me, crotch grabbing, lip licking, all of that. I thought he was an OK-looking dude, but not exactly what I was in the mood for at the moment. So I wanted to cruise around a while myself before making a decision. The dude did not want to let me do that, however. He kept blocking me in various ways -- standing by my booth door so no one else could come in or following me around closely to watch what I did. This was getting bothersome, to say the least. Ultimately I went into a private booth and managed to ditch him for a while. He soon located me again when I came out.

I realized I could have told him I wasn't interested... but I was SLIGHTLY interested. I just wanted time to make up my own mind! But I figured "what the hell..." The guy is into me, so odds are good that he's going to be a good cocksucker. I gave him the go-ahead to come on into my booth.

He kneels down and takes my dick in his mouth. I was one-quarter erect at the time. He strokes my dick once... twice... three times. Now I'm just slightly under half-hard. He pulls out his own cock while he's kneeling down and gives my dick another two strokes while he touches his dick. I'm STILL just half-hard. Next thing I know he's groaning and kind of chewing my cock, shooting his cum on the floor. This all lasted about twenty-five seconds. I had dropped a dozen tokens into the machine as he stepped inside, figuring I was in for a treat with such an eager cruiser.

The guys stands up, zips up. He won't look at me. It's good he didn't because my mouth was literally hanging open. I was stunned. And annoyed. After such intense cruising and pursuit, I had believed he'd want to enjoy the encounter for a long time. He turned and left. I was tempted to say something awful. I muttered: "Fucking lame, dude," but I said it very softly and there was sound from adjacent booths so I am sure he didn't hear me.

The second encounter was much the same, so there's no need to detail it. Ditto for the third. All had various degrees of cruising intensity prior to the guy shooting off a load in under a minute.

What's wild is that I have seen two of these men since those times. In all cases, I never got fully hard -- they didn't even get to enjoy my dick -- and my dick sure as hell did not enjoy them! I would have thought these guys would NOT want to get together with me again after a "failed" encounter. But that's not the case. They ALL tried to hook up a second time. And they were ALL ignored.

Sorry, I'm not wasting my time with a guy who goes through a huge song and dance of cruising to get me into a booth for less than sixty seconds. Hell, my dick is JUST getting warmed up after a HUNDRED good strokes. After that my dick can "talk" to a guy sucking me. Before... it's all just batting practice.

Since I'm a dude who likes sex to LAST for a long time, PE REALLY bugs me, maybe more so than it bugs other guys.

HOWEVER, I should point out that in the bookstores I am NOT looking for three and four hour sessions as I sometimes am in the privacy of my own home. In bookstores I am aware of the scene and realize that encounters are often much shorter. MOST of the time I can cum at will, once I'm at least warmed up with a good five or ten minutes. So I haven't had any problems. If a guy wants me to cum much faster than I am used to cumming, that's cool with me. I have had some ten minute blowjobs that were VERY satisfying and I have NO complaints about that.

But sixty seconds is just pathetic.

It's also quite unfair, to be honest. If you are a guy who KNOWS that you are going to blow in a very short time and you have stalked and cruised someone else, letting them get excited into thinking you are going to give them a hot time... how about you NOT touch your dick for a few minutes so you can at LEAST provide SOMETHING to the guy you've just chased around for the last half hour?

We've all popped off quickly from time to time -- so in all fairness it is not possible to say for SURE if each and every guy we meet who cums instantly does so each and every time he pulls out his cock.

But I think most of them do!

And incidentally, GWT, to answer your question: PE is RARELY physical. It is almost always a mental issue. Erectile dysfunction can be either, but there are MANY more physical reasons for ED than for PE.

My best friend of whom I speak often has a boyfriend of sorts -- more like a sugar daddy, but that's not relevant. This guy is, obviously, a straight dude. He blows his load instantly every single time. My friend likes his dick -- he's got a nice one, so she says. But she never gets to DO anything with it. He pulls it out, she touches it, he cums. He almost NEVER fucks her anymore because he lasts all of three strokes if he even gets that far. If she wants to suck his dick she's lucky if she can get her tongue out before he spews.

The poor gal is VERY sexually frustrated. Her recent quote to me: "Michael, I fucking LOVE dick."

Poor honey... she isn't getting any!

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Scruffy,

Don't these guys know not to start anything they have no intention of finishing? Initiate something with a guy and then not finish him off? For me that'd be like going to the Cheesecake Factory and passing up dessert.

If I initiate the cruising, I feel I owe it to the other guy to at least make the attempt to finish him off. Only if he decides enough is enough do I break off. Sometimes, it means I shoot before he does. And sometimes, him getting to see me shoot sends him over.

I've been in the situation where the cruising takes longer than the action many times. There's this one guy that likes hooking up with me when I see him. But he won't hook up with me for at least a half hour after he's arrived. He will stand around forever. Then he reaches "simmer" and he's in a booth with me.

But since cruising etiquette isn't required learning at the better finishing schools any more, guys pretty much do what they want. They cruise until sated then run. I guess they figure their actions have no future consequences. Eventually diminishing returns weed them out. After a while, when they can't catch anyone's eye, they'll get the message. Or maybe not.

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It could be the guy was married, bf or something and just the thought of another anonymous encounter turned him on so much he shot his load right away.

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You know what, GuyTopeka? I remember the "good old days" when guys USED to hang out until EVERYONE was happy. Doesn't seem like that is the case anymore.

Well, that's not entirely true... but mostly true.

Guys who come to my home RARELY blow their load and head out the door. It is presumably much more difficult to make an easy exit from my apartment. You know... if we have talked online, made arrangements, swapped photos, discussed details, sent directions, drove through town late at night... all of this effort for online meetings and such usually results in an encounter that isn't over in twenty-five seconds. After a dude goes to greater lengths to meet another dude, usually he wants to have some fun and take his time. It can be awkward for a guy to retreat out the door, leaving his partner unsatisfied.

Also, I suppose it helps that I always tell a guy who is coming to my place that there's a half-hour minimum and he'd better not waste my time or his time with a three minute session. Frankly, I'd rather jerk off.

In an ABS cruising situation, guys can easily avoid eye-contact, zip up, stand up, turn around and be out the door in no time.

ONCE in a GREAT WHILE a guy who cums too fast MIGHT make some sort of half-hearted attempt at finishing me off. Most do not, but a few at least TRY.

The problem with this is, as we all know, men seem to lose almost all sexual skills immediately after they shoot a load. Hey, I know I do, so I understand. It's hard to be INTO it anymore once your balls are empty. This is not the case EVERY time, but mostly it is.

EVERY great cocksucker I've ever met or talked to has always refrained from cumming until he's made ME cum first. He KNOWS he will be more into it if he's still hard and horny himself. And those guys who are into being highly submissive also do not cum first because they feel the dominant guy should have that privilege.

I'm trying to think of a time when a dude might have cum first and then still finished me off successfully. I can't think of any at the moment. Probably there have been a few, but I'm hard-pressed to recall them. Sometimes I'll just stop a dude... you know, he's standing there, maybe half-heartedly touching my dick, all the passion gone from his eyes, unable to suck anymore... Eh. Why bother? Go on, dude... get out of here. I'm not having fun anymore anyway...

This shit happened AGAIN to me last night. Swear to god.

Classic bearish dude was cruising me. I thought he was OK. He LOOKED like he had an intensity about him that made me believe he would be a hot cocksucker. Turns out I was right -- he WAS a hot cocksucker -- but the hotness sure didn't last.

This dude sucked me for about two minutes and did a great job. I was a happy guy, thinking that this was going to be a great encounter. He had a highly skilled mouth. Then he stops for a second, pulls out his dick, starts beating off rapidly. He dives down on me again and just holds his mouth on my dick, shoving it down his throat. Yeah, OK... nice, but... could you MOVE your head a little? Once he started to gag a bit, that was it. He blew his load instantly. He stood up, jerked on my dick with his hand for ten seconds, then turned and left.

Asshole.

At the very LEAST I remember a time when guys used to TELL me they were going to cum. SOMETIMES I could, if stimulated enough, blow a load myself at the same time if armed with this knowledge. But even if I could not, at least they let me know instead of just getting off and leaving me hanging.

I don't know if this is some sort of new rudeness or what. I can't say that it is "selfish" of guys to cum when having sex! After all, isn't that the idea? But I DO often wonder if they do this ALL the time to ALL their partners. If so... then indeed they ARE selfish.

But I'll tell ya... Honestly, sometimes I don't care. I LIKE to get my dick sucked several times in one night and wait to cum until I meet the guy who does the best job. So if these dudes can't or won't get me off or if they just blow a load quickly... whatever. I kind of feel sorry for them. Frankly, there is always someone else who wants a shot at my dick. I have yet to end a night without getting off, so...

Finally, you mentioned a guy who cruises you but waits half an hour before hooking up. I frequently do that as well, and thought I'd share MY reasons for this behavior.

Since I enjoy the ABS scene so much, I don't want to rush it, for one thing. I also want to get into it for a while. I like to jerk off alone in the booths and watch some porn. I LOVE to get my dick hard many, many, many times -- then shove it back into my pants and let it simmer down again. It builds up the tension and the desire. I often like to give guys a show if they want it through the Buddy Window. I try NOT to be a cocktease, but... I guess sometimes I am by default. I may not always want to meet up with the guys I am showing off my dick to, but I like to let them watch me and do my best to signal to them that this is ALL I want to do at the moment.

And to be honest... I like to check out everyone before making a decision about who I might want to meet. Sometimes there are two or three guys I already know. I may want one of them again. Or I may want someone new. I like to get the vibe of the whole place before I make a move or invite someone to join me. And naturally, it takes a bit of time before being able to see everyone who is in there. When I arrive, some guys are already in booths behind closed doors. I like to wait and see who emerges.

One last reason why I often wait before hooking up with someone, even if I know him from a previous encounter... I almost always hang back until I have a window of privacy. I am rather territorial, too. I like to find my own booth and invite a guy to join ME rather than go into HIS booth. If other dudes are standing around and watching every move I make, I make NO moves at all. I will let a guy I am interested in see me go into a booth, of course, but I don't want others to take note of where I am or who I am with. I won't give the "giggle queens" and gossipers something to discuss later on. Also, it sounds kind of silly but I think being mysterious lends some general appeal.

Not letting many other guys see me go into booths also helps avoid unwanted cruisers. You know... when that OLD, OLD dude keeps stalking you and winds up knocking on your door or on the other side of the Buddy Window EVERY fucking time you go into a booth -- that gets annoying in a hurry. Troll behavior is better thwarted by ignoring the guy and keeping my location as much of a "secret" as possible. I HATE it when a guy who is into me is stopped from meeting me because some troll races to the booth. Or equally as awful... when a troll stakes out the OTHER side of a booth so no one else wants to walk by him to get in. He'll stand there in front of the door, NOT go inside himself, and keep everyone else at bay.

The dude I mentioned in the "Kissing" post... he cruised me for forty minutes before I had a period of privacy. I was worried he'd think I wasn't interested in him anymore because I didn't hook up with him right away. That wasn't the case. I just didn't want to let half a dozen other guys see WHO I wanted. And though I can't do anything about men standing around and listening outside the booth or seeing me and a buddy emerge, I prefer to have them NOT know who is in there beforehand. Twice this guy made a move to go into a booth and have me follow him, leaving the door open for me to come in. And both times within seconds someone ELSE came running up to his open door, not giving me a moment to even take a single step. The dude obviously shooed them away and waited until I was free. Later, when we WERE together, I told him to be patient and that I like privacy, for his future reference. I didn't want him to think I wasn't interested anymore. He seemed OK with this.

In reality, I'd get together with him EVERY time I see him, no matter who else is there. So it isn't a matter of wasting time or getting acclimated or jerking off repeatedly to get hornier -- it's just a matter of some degree of privacy.

Asking for privacy in an ABS is a little off the wall. I'm not seeking TOTAL privacy, of course -- this is not possible and should never be expected. I guess I just look to be as unassuming as possible. I truly think some dudes find this appealing. I don't flaunt myself. I mind my own business and do my own thing.

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I don't remember any "good old days" when guys hung around to finish you off. When a guy cums he's ready to go. I'm guilty of it too. I don't get off in ten seconds and leave a guy hanging but I'm not going to stay around 30 more minutes after I cum to finish him off. If I know a guy is close I'll help out but beyond a few minutes, I'm outta there. I'll ask a guy if he's close, if he says no then it's up to him to find someone else to finish the job.

I've always feel like each guy is responsible for their own orgasm. We can try and cum about the same time provided it's not in ten seconds, but the reason I'm there in the first place is to get ME off. I like to see guys cum and do all that I can do to help out but when I'm done, I'm done.

I wonder Scruff, if a guy sucks you for hours and gets you off and he doesn't get off, how long do you hang around helping him out? I'm also surprised at your hostility toward guys that suffer from PE. I always thought it was out of their control. I can't imagine a guy goes out cruising with the idea that when he meets someone he's going to cum in two seconds.

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Well, MY "good old days" were in New York. I honestly have no idea if this has anything to do with it or not. But "way back when" I sure remember EVERYONE getting off. At least MOST of the time.

But sure... there were plenty of times during my youth that one guy would blow and then go. It happens. That never really bothered me. Like you said, when a guy cums, he's outta there most of the time. Par for the course. And, being a man myself, I understand this. WOMEN sure have a hard time dealing with it, but I think gay men are more accepting and don't take it personally.

To answer your questions:

The guys who blow me for hours always get off. But admittedly, they do this themselves most of the time. This is simply how it is; it's the arrangement and it's what they WANT. MOST have told me they do NOT want me to do anything to them. A FEW have demanded that I don't touch their dick. If that is what they want, fine with me.

But in situations where this is NOT the case and things are mutual, then we BOTH get each other off. If one of us cums first, the other helps the next guy. Generally speaking, usually we both cum within a short time, as you described. I think what YOU say you do -- stick around a few minutes and see what transpires, is about right.

Also, most, but not all, guys who blow me are very submissive and will NOT cum unless I tell them it's OK to cum. This is, once again, what they WANT and have ASKED for me to do. I do not tell a guy he can't cum without permission unless he wants this kind of scene.

Truth be told, I'm NEVER going to turn down a three hour BJ from a guy who is into that. But what I like best is mutual, passionate and romantic sex with a guy who shares an attraction with me.

Too bad this is hard to find!

I do agree with you, mostly: we are each responsible for our own orgasm. Mostly!

We can each just jerk off and get off that way and be responsible for our own orgasm, but the whole point of sex is to be with a partner to help you do that or do it FOR you. As such, your partner is partly responsible for helping you get off in the way you enjoy most (or close to it, anyway).

Clearly, most of the cocksuckers I meet GET OFF by sucking my dick (and probably ANY dick, for that matter). So this makes them hot and happy. I get off best by HAVING my dick sucked. As I've said before: everyone is happy with the arrangement.

I'm sure I've told stories wherein I do NOT cum each and every time. And frankly, I KNOW I've mentioned that cumming isn't usually my main goal. Sounds silly, in a way -- but for me, I love the sex more than cumming. I hate ending it.

I think WOMEN are more responsible for their own orgasm than men are -- that statement is most often applied to non-orgasmic or frigid females. MOST men can pretty much cum with no problem at all!

But still, you make a valid point.

And if that's the case, it seems to me that men with PE are responsible for their own orgasm to a degree, too.

But in THEIR case, the orgasm they are having happens in seconds. This is sexually unsatisfying and distressing to their partner. Women married to men with PE have serious sexual issues to deal with. They are NEVER satisfied.

And since PE is almost always a mental issue, don't these men have some responsibility to look into the reasons WHY they have this problem and work toward fixing it?

I tend to believe they DO. I do realize that time and money can make this problematic, however. Not a lot of guys with PE will talk to a doctor about it. Nor will they bother with therapy. Nor will they discuss techniques for improvement WITH their partner. Sometimes a good partner can be a LOT of help when dealing with PE. This partner can be a REAL partner or just a trick, if you have the balls to discuss it first.

So when I meet a dude who cums in two seconds, I don't get deeply or truly mad and I do NOT feel "hostile" at all. I think that's a bad choice of word, no offense. I just move on and accept it, knowing I will surely meet a dude who is into getting me off and can do the job. So far... no problems with that at all.

But I DO get annoyed and irritated, and I think I have a right to feel that way.

I ESPECIALLY get peeved in cases where a dude cruises me for an hour and then the hookup lasts less than a minute.

This is COCKTEASE behavior, even though it may be involuntary on the guy's part. Yet he KNOWS he's going to blow in a short time. He just cruises anyway -- and he has a right to cruise, of course. It just sucks for the guy on the OTHER end of his desires who gets his cock teased for twenty seconds and gets NOTHING out of it at all.

I don't like being that guy.

I don't mind not cumming. Don't mind that at all. In fact, sometimes I like it. I can get THREE or FOUR blowjobs in one night. Works for me!

But it's a waste of my time having a dude cruise me hard and then not deliver ANYTHING at all.

I don't know, man... it takes me a few minutes to even start getting into it. I mean... five or six strokes does NOTHING for me. My dick doesn't even get fully hard in that short a time.

If we're all responsible for our own sexual performance, and I believe we MOSTLY are, then men with PE are responsible to DO something about it. At the very least, get the balls to see your doc and try out some antidepressants, which can be very helpful for this condition, even when it is NOT physical.

For the record, too -- you guys know I enjoy coming here to BITCH about little shit that bugs me. It's the fun of these boards. Do rest assured, however, that my dramatic writing doesn't necessarily indicate that I am seriously pissed off at someone for whatever reason. YES, I get bugged by guys who blow in ten seconds. It's BORING sex that isn't worth it. It's a waste of ten seconds and worse -- a waste of a fun cruise that turns out to be worthless in the end. I like the cruising ALMOST as much as I like the sex, but the BEST cruising ends with GOOD sex.

I'm proud that I can last for four hours if I have a guy who is into that. But I'm also proud that I can cum at will just about anytime I want to -- given at least a few minutes to get into it, of course. I have had HOT encounters that lasted ten minutes and will be remembered for the rest of my life. I've also had SHITTY encounters that lasted two hours that I won't soon forget, either.

I will admit, however, that sometimes I hold off TOO long, not wanting to end great sex. I will also admit that SOMETIMES, though rarely, I can tell if this bugs a guy. MOST all guys will ASK me to cum for them -- and I do. Then everyone is happy. The few guys who say nothing -- should say something if I am frustrating them!

But I can't say much to a guy who shoots in four seconds. It's over and done JUST that fast. What's to say?

I met a guy who told me not to touch his dick (at my home) because he cums too quick. I told him I'd work on that with him. So I teased his cock just a little and told him to just step away if he got too close and that I wouldn't mind if he shot accidentally or if he couldn't handle too much. He felt at ease and did just this, stepping back when he had to. We were able to play around a LONG time in this fashion. He was MOST pleased with how it turned out. I never made him feel bad about it; we just had fun.

Generally speaking -- cum and go is the rule of thumb when cruising. But like GWT, I think a little bit of extra effort for a few minutes is simply polite. Most guys "get it." If they can't cum soon or don't want to, they usually let the other guy know it's OK to leave.

This is something I do all the time. If a guy was sucking me and I didn't get off before he did, usually he'll stand up and try to jerk me off. RARELY can anyone make me cum using his hand. So I'll let him do this for a bit, enjoying it, but knowing I'm not going to cum. I'll just move his hand away or tell him thanks for the good time or whatever, giving him "permission" to walk away without pressuring him to get me off.

I think that's OK.

Hope that answers your questions.

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I see the thread has moved in a slightly different direction, but I just wanted to make the picky point about premature ejaculation. GayWhiteTrash's trucker did not PE. He may have lasted only a brief moment, but PE is characterized as ejaculating before sexual activity. If you had climbed into his cab and he had cum all over his hands, then he would have prematurely ejaculated. But if you got your mouth on him, that doesn't count as PE.

Just nit-picking

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