I'm not clear as to what a guy means when he says he's either an oral top or oral bottom. I know what anal top and bottom means but when is an oral top or oral bottom looking for?

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Rocket,

I too was somewhat confused by the 'code words' use... eventually, someone solved the mystery with the excepted definition/s of the terms.

As I now understand it;
Oral tops are those that will give oral, butt take the "top position" during anal sex.
Conversely; an Oral bottom gives oral, butt prefers to 'receive' anal penetration.

Personally, however, while I may find these definitions to still seem misleading and barely accurate at best, my reply to "what do you like to do?" is that I am an "Oral Bottom". I typically add this short note; ..."enjoy giving head and handjobs, no anal, rimming"...

Like em' hard and shaved smooth,
jacob

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Oral top is the guy who gets his joint sucked, oral bottom is the guy who sucks that joint.

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Delaware Devil hit it - oral bottom is someone who is looking to suck while an oral top is someone who is looking to get sucked. Usually when these terms are used, they are not looking for anal.

I usually ask exactly what they are looking for because sometimes they will say they are a bottom so one tends to think they are looking to get fucked while they mean they are only looking to suck.

__________________
Corey

Not as innocent as one might think

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I can't imagine a guy who sucks cock and doesn't want to get sucked. Neither can I imagine a guy who wants to get sucked without reciprocation. To me, sucking is a 2-way street where both guys suck and bust their loads. A few times I hooked up with guys who just wanted to suck my cock. As much as I enjoyed it, sucking the guy's cock or 69ing would have been so much hotter for me. I once had sex with a guy who just sucked me (in the privacy of his house) but he remained fully clothed. This really left me cold. If I can't suck a guy in return, at least I want to see him naked and stroking his cock while he goes down on me, jack him off or watch him jack off as he is sucking my cock.

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K, we all have our own preferences, when it comes to messin' around.

Yet, reciprocation is by no means an integral part of gay sex. It is possibly becoming one under the influence of porno industry for obvious reasons.

I have been sexually very active for over 25 years now and have certainly had more than 2,000 partners. Disregarding the relatively small number of 'wrong connections', when I bumped into another top, so nothing really happened and we quickly parted in search of new partners, I can think of only 2-3 guys who asked for reciprocation. Admittedly, a few guys indicated they would like it during the play, but when I declined, they continued anyway, without much ado.

Just like we say in San Francisco, 'versatile' really means, 'bottom' but sounds better.

Indeed, most guys, no matter how much 'bottoms' they happen to be, also want to get their rocks off. Usually, this happens while servicing a top, they find hot. Some guys would go on 'bottoming' for a while until they hit a dude who would go down to his knees and/or sometimes even bend over for them, so that they can top, too. So, in most cases, under all the right conditions, no one goes home empty-handed, so to say.

Superficially, it looks like the tops are having all the fun. Yet, this really is not true by any length of imagination. Bttm guys bottom simply because that's what they feel is the source of their sexual satisfaction. And admittedly, what most guys want is 'lots and lots of sex'. Unless you are 16 with raging hormones, being a top, you can only have sex with 2-3 guys on a good night, unless you want to shoot blanks, that is. Being a bottom gives you a far wider scope. So, yeah, if you meant 'justice' as 'justice in equality' and expressed it by 'reciprocation'. Yes, there is justice in the system, too.

KD

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Corey's right, with one slight modification:

Sometimes someone lists themselves as "oral bottom" meaning they are into being orally submissive (sucking dick) AND that they are also into getting fucked.

Trust me... "oral bottoms" contact me ALL the time. Most are happy enough to JUST suck dick, but many are also very willing to get fucked and offer up their ass easily enough.

HOWEVER... this terminology is subject to the same rules of confusion that just about all gay terminology is subject to.

For example, lots of men have very different notions about what a "bear" and a "cub" actually are.

The truth lies with the person doing the defining! To some guys, I am NOT a cub. To others, I am.

The best way to find out what it means is to ask the particular guy who defines himself as such and see what he's got to say.

And for the record -- I'll have to take issue with the notion that oral sex is always a two-way street. Please... I've met literally dozens upon dozens of men who want to suck dick and have no interest in being sucked -- they simply don't like it. My ex, in fact, did NOT like being sucked off. And I, and many other "oral top" dudes out there, MUCH prefer to spend our time BEING sucked off than sucking dick.

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in my personal experiences over the last 50+ years, it has always been the same, no exceptions:
* TOP (oral top/anal top/side top/jack top/etc) has always been his dick gets the action.
* BOTTOM (oral bottom/anal bottom/side bottom/jack bottom/etc) services the top's dick.
* Versatile likes some mutual play (tho most seem to be primarily bottoms.)

Not to say the top or bottom were exclusive to their title role., some level of reciprocation is not uncommon... tho adding DOM to the title would tend to lean that way.

Myself, I've always been happy to just 'take it' :-)

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For anal top/bottom has always been clear - oral you do not hear top/bottom much more often they say giving/receiving -

Although I find pretty much every gay or bi man will suck and be sucked it is only when you get guys trying to say they are straight that they will say receiving only.

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For me, oral top/bottom is the same as anal top/bottom. An anal top is likely to be an oral top, and vice-versa. There are "both"s, of course. I am mostly an anal top, and correspondingly, mostly enjoy being an oral top. That doesn't mean I cannot be a bottom -- both anally and orally -- on occasion and with the right guy. It needs to be said that an anal/oral top is not automatically the dominating partner. Most of my bottom partners are quite dominating in personality. Just that they really tremendously enjoy sucking and being fucked.

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So nice to see that attitude.

I have never understood why so many guys consider the bottom or cock sucker to be "submissive". When I am sucking a cock I feel totally in control.

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These are interesting comments. Funny that the thread suddenly got resumed after 18 years. I agree that the the idea of "submissive" isn't accurate to describe sucking a dick. There used to be similar confusion about "active" and "passive." In the case of oral, the active guy is the sucker, in the case of anal the active guy is the fucker. Inserter vs insertee. They're both good.

My mood can vary from only suck to only get sucked to let's reciprocate. It wasn't too long ago that I was naked in a porn theater on my knees with a totally clothed guy with his dick sticking out of his jeans fucking my face. I had no interest in reciprocation (none offered). Another time I wanted lay down sex with reciprocation. It just depends on the mood.

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Very true NakedAl -

I am always in the mood to suck dick - but getting sucked can depend on a lot of factors. Sometimes I just want to suck, sometimes I have already cum but still want to get the guy off, sometimes I want to hold off until later.

But even when I only want to suck I don't think of myself as "submissive".

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