Ok, here’s the deal. I am a gay man that works from home for myself. I live a pretty comfortable life. Over the past few years, my sex life has been encroaching on my personal life. As a result, my work performance and my personal life have suffered. It’s at the point where I spend hours each day looking for sex, reading about sex and writing about sex.
I am basically a computer junkie. I hang out on message boards (like this one and others) dispensing advice, reading, jerking off and looking to hook up. If I am not online, I am in the bookstores, public parks or bathrooms all the while trying to get laid.
My life has been totally consumed. I literally spend hours responding with volumes of information about every conceivable topic that people post about. Not just a few sentences either. I have to write page after page after page. Most of the time, I am in over my head, especially when I dispense medical advice. I just have to write something. It’s almost like an addiction. I cannot help myself and have to have my say. Even if it makes me sound like a kook. I once decided that a medical doctor was incorrect and I was right.
Basically I am asking if anyone has ever been in this situation before? If so how the hell do I stop? Do I need to see a psychiatrist?

Thanks.

Yes

Dr Danny

Gee, it's funny, isn't it? You almost seem like you are trying to pretend you're ME.

Except I don't hook up in parks and bathrooms. And I don't have to go to any great lengths to find sex, either. If you were GOOD at finding sex online, you'd have several men who would seek YOU out and offer to get you off with little or no effort on your part. So maybe you have to work on that a bit.

I'm also not consumed with online life to the point where it ruins reality for me.

Try getting a few other hobbies. I grow plants, I care for pets, I drive, I read, I go to the library, I work, I take care of my apartment, I do scrapbooking (yeah, I know it's a little queer, but I have fun with it), I create CDs and SVCD porno discs, I do handiwork, I watch TV and movies, I cook, I get fresh air and exercise -- and most importantly of all, I continue to educate myself on a daily basis with topics of interest: biology, psychology, science, design, flora and fauna, social dynamics, history -- that kind of stuff.

Branch out a little bit. And by all means, if you are going to allow yourself to enjoy message boards you need to learn to type REALLY fast so as to maximize your available time!

Don't take message boards too seriously either. And don't get in over your head. Though I am very, very moderately educated about particle physics, I sure wouldn't try to jump into a discussion forum about a topic where I would be slaughtered by experts.

It is best to stick to the things you KNOW.

And there's really nothing wrong with giving advice to those who seek it if you actually HAVE good advice to offer.

If you just do it for the sake of being an ass -- well, then you SHOULD get some therapy for that, by all means.

You know what I mean -- those asshole kind of people online who think it fun to create new names in established forums and then pick on regular contributors because they are jealous of someone else's "fame" or "notoriety." I mean... that's just sad, pathetic behavior, right?

Also, bear in mind something I've mentioned QUITE OFTEN here. Message boards are a COMMUNITY EFFORT. Everyone's contributions matter, not just YOURS. If you ACT like you are in charge, no one is going to give a shit what you say. But if you are indeed a NICE GUY who enjoys helping out with subjects that you have studied for many years and can offer good advice -- by all means, have fun with that.

You may also wish to utilize your time online to improve your writing skills, which are sorely lacking. You have to have a commanding written presence if you want to be taken seriously on message boards.

Some folks are well-rounded individuals who can easily enjoy many different areas of interest both online and in real life. Some folks gain pleasure helping others.

Some folks are just loud-mouthed jerkoffs.

Into which category do YOU fit?

Nice try with this post, by the way.

I suggest you sign offline as soon as possible and consider deeply what the phrase "get a life" really means and to whom it best applies.

I agree with both Dr Danny and SC.

Yup, you do have a problem. You also recognize it as such and you can even see the consequences thereof.

This works for some people, and does not work for the others.

Assign the time for your sex life, boards, hook-ups and whatever and stick with it. Do not allow the creep in and you'll be just fine.

Take your regular time off and do whatever pleases you, but draw clear lines. This is work and that is fun.

Don't mix the two. They do not mix too well usually and you know that this applies to your situation. So, show us some guts and do the right thing.

KD

I'm torn here guys. My gut tells me this is an attempt to insult one of our fellow members.

If it's not, dude, you do have a problem, it's called sex addiction, and yeah, a counselor would be in order.

Sounds like you are just what this board needs. Forget your job. I can tell from the high number of posts here alone, you have seriously embraced this aspect of your life.

And as for the psychiatrist, forget him. He'd just want to work with you for years and years and years. I am sure he'd tell you that there are layers of issues here and no quick fixes. Besides if you follow your calling, you wouldn't really have the money to spend on his services anyway.

Keep cruising so as to be able to help others with all the knowledge you gain firsthand.

As for disagreeing with doctors, think nothing of it. What do they know? The cemetaries are full of people who think like you do, so you have a lot of good company.

Oh, and don't worry about being perceived as abrasive, intrusive, long-winded, lacking social skills, mental acuity, personal hygiene or political clarity. Just keep posting. You gotta make sure others are able to recognize that you fulfill a unique niche on this board and all others. Every town needs its village idiot. We are happy to embrace you as ours.

This is odd--here is a copy of a message I sent to a fellow who was gently teasing SC about first saying SC had little or nothing to say about something, and then going on at some length about the topic. Maybe it's cruel, but...

If you're going to respond, do it quickly since I am going on vacation and will be disconnected from the internet after Sunday. I've enjoyed CFS off and on, but let's face it, given the number of gays in the country, given that the same fellows seem to be doing most of the responding to discussions, and given that evidently there are a lot of wannabes who don't follow through on connections, we're really participating in somewhat of a fantasy world, aren't we. It's fun at times, but like with the fellow who started this thread, it can probably become addictive. SC just noted how the fellow sounded a lot like him. Could it be that it is him?

At any rate, here's what I said to the fellow:

I appreciate your comment about Scruffy having
nothing to say. There's something odd going on there.
In the last month or so I replied to a couple other
fellows suggesting that maybe SC is a shut-in with a
lot of time on his hands. His sexual experiences are
just too great, he's a tad too lucky, knows too much,
writes too much, etc. Last week, since both he and
Dr. Danny were absent at the same time, I suggested to
someone that maybe they were one and the same.
Afterall, what proof do we have that Dr. Dan is a
"real" doctor? What also makes me wonder is that
several months ago I e-mailed Dr. Dan with the
suggestion that SC was not for real and I never heard
back from him, which is odd since in the past he
almost always has answered. Your thoughts? Take care.

What the FUCK is this shit all about, anyway?

It's hard to follow the convoluted post above from Badgerboi, but I think he's saying the he privately emailed someone so that they could mock me together. I think... During which time, there was speculation that I am actually Dr. Danny.

Holy fuck.

You'd have to have a very, very limited observational skills and a questionable IQ to suspect any such thing. There is nothing even remotely similar between MY style of writing and Dr. Danny's.

And for the record, leave him OUT of any personal issues you have with me. The man is nice enough to take time from his practice and respond to important medical issues which affect the gay community. There aren't a whole lot of docs out there who would do that.

Damn shame some folks out there get uptight because I get WAY, WAY more sex than they do.

Tough shit.

Maybe if you'd spent some time and actually READ a few of the nearly thousand posts I've written here, YOU, too would be getting the sex you want more often.

Logic would seem to indicate that people who cruise often and enjoy discussing it would come to this website for conversation.

Not everyone online is a fraud and a flake.

Don't like me? Do what everyone else who doesn't like me does: use the IGNORE feature so you never have to see anything I type ever again.

Publicly yammering on with ridiculous conspiracy theories won't get you anywhere. And the vast majority of folks online won't pay much attention to you for long once they realize how very foolish this topic happens to be.

Someone once thought I was actually BMG posting under two names, too. I must say... it would actually be flattering to be confused with BMG and Dr. Danny if only someone with an actual BRAIN had thought as much. But when an idiot says it... well... It's best just to laugh and shrug it off.

There's lots of folks here who have emailed me and traded photos and know better than to believe any of this garbage. Any mods here who can access the logged ISP addresses of each member can attest to the fact that I am only me and no one else.

I won't apologize because I get my dick sucked ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I won't apologize for having a HOT COCK, either. I won't apologize for having a BRAIN, for enjoying online posting, or for anything else about me that some unknown jackoff little priss doesn't happen to like.

So Badgerboi is suggesting that I wrote the post above (God help me if I EVER write as poorly as THAT). Badgerboi is also emailing OTHER members of CFS and having conversations about me with them. He ALSO emailed Dr. Danny and pestered him with the same nonsense.

I can't help but wonder WHY Dr. Danny didn't respond to this sort of email invasion of stupidity. Why the hell SHOULD he? If I got an insipid email like that, I'd ignore it, too! Good for him. He's wise not to get involved with ridiculous shit such as this.

Sounds to me like Badgerboi is probably a young, confused kid with a whole lot of time on his hands which he can use to speculate about online message board soap opera characters. He's one of those community troublemakers -- every message board has visits from these guys from time to time.

If this kid REALLY sits around emailing other members of CFS about me -- WOW. That's really terribly sad, don't you guys think?

I guess I really get under his skin. It probably bugs the hell out of him that a cubby guy who is pushing forty years old has so much confidence, class, style, intellect -- and gets lots and lots and lots of sex.

Awww... I know. I'm so arrogant. I just can't be "real." It's too "convenient."

Kid, I've been cruising since I was FOURTEEN YEARS OLD. Why the FUCK else do you think I like CFS so much?

Anyway, gentlemen of the community -- this is, I suspect, what's REALLY going on here:

We've got this Badgerboi dude doing whatever it is he is doing. He's been in contact with other CFS members/posters. Either he or one of them is disgruntled and posted the above bullshit.

Now, since I've been on sabbatical for a few months and staying in NY with family, I've definitely been doing a lot of online posting and writing.

What the fuck ELSE is there to do all WINTER IN NEW YORK? Well, besides get my dick sucked and hang out with friends, that is.

I was busy for about a WEEK and didn't post anything. At that time, I guess Dr. Danny happened to not post anything as well. OH, MY! Conspiracy! We MUST therefore be one and the same!

What happened during that week that kept me off the boards?

MY DOG DIED, OK?

Motherfucker. I didn't want to bring this up here. It has nothing to do with cruising. I mentioned when my cat died last year and everyone was very sweet about that. The passing of my dog hit me VERY hard and I didn't want to even accept the kind words that others would offer because I knew I'd just start thinking about it even more. Now that some time has passed, I am starting to feel more like myself again.

Lots of guys here know from reading my posts for years that my dog was sick for a long time. Ultimately, her heart couldn't last any longer and she passed on. I didn't feel like fucking posting crap to a message board at the time. Is that OK with you, Badgerboi?

And whatever Dr. Danny was doing is HIS business.

I posted some stuff on health-related boards for a few weeks, too. I just found these boards and thought they were pretty helpful and interesting, so I jumped in. But these boards are HEAVILY moderated and the rules and regulations are a bit extreme. I used a SIMILAR name to the one I use here, but not identical.

My heavy-handed writing style and the fact that I don't just coddle to people seeking sympathy doesn't seem to go over well on these boards. What I SUSPECT happened is that the same dude who posted THIS shit noticed me over at these OTHER boards and fired off an email to a moderator, complaining about -- whatever. I have no idea. These are the type of boards that "ban" users for a week or so at a time as "punishment" to "teach them a lesson" about "being nice" and politically correct.

So not long after THIS post appeared on CFS -- I was banned from the OTHER boards.

Coincidence?

Not likely.

But it's just as well. It was mostly a vast sea of hypochondriacs and teenage girls who asked for advice but refused to listen to anything which suggests they might actually wish to work on improving their own behavior.

Doesn't really matter much. Seems like EVERYONE gets banned from there sooner or later. It's impossible to surf a thread without seeing a post edited or deleted by a mod, and members with hundreds and thousands of posts to their name get banned every now and then. It's basically moderators gone wild with imagined power. Not my kind of scene.

Now, I also post satirical items for another website. These are weekly essays of a sort. I rarely post discussion board commentary. I'm like a contributing writer. They sort of asked me if I would be interested in doing this. I thought it would be fun, so I agreed.

It's quite possible that someone took notice of me over there, too.

To the uneducated it might be difficult to understand how someone could post HERE, THERE, and write weekly satires for another site.

Well... it ain't easy. CFS has lost some of my attention because I've been doing comedy writing instead. The medical boards... eh. They were a temporary dalliance during a long, cold, boring winter.

For those who can't read or write very well, it can be challenging to understand how it is possible for other folks to compose lengthy discussions or write a satire. That's understandable. I remember when I was in kindergarten and I saw some of the "big books" that the older kids had to read. I couldn't imagine how they ever managed to get through all those pages. I also couldn't imagine that someday I would have to READ all those pages, too.

So I suppose we can understand how daunting it is to someone of lowered intellect to be confronted with well-written online items of interest. It's also shattering to weak-minded individuals with low self-esteem when they see other folks react positively to someone who has established a name for himself within a community.

But probably it's more the fact that I get my dick sucked almost any time I want. That's GOT to make dudes like Badgerboi really jealous, don't you think?

I'm a nice guy... I'm intelligent... I like myself... I am happy... I am sexually satisfied... I'm not too bad looking... I am friendly... I am well-rounded. And most of all, I'm not afraid to admit it.

Loving yourself is OK as long as you are able to use your own self-respect to teach yourself how to love OTHER people and do kind things for them, too.

Love thy neighbor, right?

I do my best.

Don't like that? Fuck off and shut up.

The last few times I've encountered this kind of stupid shit online here at CFS, I've just ignored it -- it hasn't been worth my time or attention.

But not this time around. This time I'm saying something about it.

ENOUGH.

I've had ENOUGH.

Don't fuck with me.

And DO NOT bring Dr. Danny into this. He's a GREAT DUDE and has NOTHING to do with anyone's distaste for ME personally. Don't piss him off -- we're lucky to have him here!

Sorry about this stupid shit, guys. I'd really rather be telling you stories about hot dudes in bookstores. But I haven't had much to say here lately and have been feeling admittedly very lonely without my dog. I was "due" for a LONG post.

And I'm entitled to a rant every now and then, I think. But just now and then...

It's bothersome to devote two years to an online community, trying to help out when I can -- and then to see this kind of stupid shit surfacing all over again. Early on, it was to be expected. I had thought this kind of crap was DONE by now. Guess not.

Badgerboi, you're in WAY over your head here.

You haven't got a fucking CLUE.

Now it's up to YOU to use the IGNORE feature to shut me up.

Take your conspiracy theories and childish online catfights to another message board system.

I'll wager big money that 95% of the veteran posters here agree with me on this: we aren't interested in this kind of bullshit.

We'd rather talk about DICK!

SC,

Touchy, touchy touchy. Don't you know badgers live to fight?

JFC people, any of you ever check your calendars? Double-check the date of his post.

IpsoFacto claims he's a posting junkie. Two freaking posts here since 2/2005. Man, that's a jones I wish others here would be suffering.

The man contradicts himself. He says he spends all his time cruising. Then he says he spends hours and hours online, writing pages and pages of posts, reading all he can about subjects others post, etc. The whole thing reeks of satire.

All I can say is that there are a bunch of April fish here who took the bait, hook line and sinker.

Can we get back to talking about dick now?

Guys,

You are free to like or dislike or even ignore SC or anyone else for that matter.

You are free to read his posts and equally so, you can just scroll down. No one really cares. Do you?

Badgerdude, do yourself a favor and read your own post. I hate to say so, your posting sounds so pathetic... pvting other board members to see, if they are really SC or not? Tells lots about the kind of life you live. Sad, very sad. You deserve our unqualified pity. Think it over and get a life.

The boards are about the issues and not about the people who contribute. I mostly tend to agree with SC and so does he with my postings. Every now and then, we strongly disagree. We disagree on issues and solutions, even attitudes but that's what the boards are all about. Attacking people personally and accusing them of doing something that you cannot prove in the first place is simply dumb. You know that.

So, you do not like SC and his lifestyle. Fine. Show us that he is wrong and that his postings are worthless. Post the right stuff and you'll star here. There is nuf place for everybody.

One more thing. Do not judge the others and their respective lifestyles using your own experience only. Not everyone here works Mon.-Fri. 9-5. Lots of guys work part time only. Some only work certain months, albeit in a very intensive fashion and have a few months off to do pretty much as they please. Face the reality that quite a few people do not have to work at all and have got lots of time and energy at their hands to pursue other interests. You might not be that lucky but some other guys are. Live with it, K?

KD

No Dumb ASS....Badgerboy......Doc and Scruffy are two different people. However, Scruffy does have some health care knowledge that would lead you to believe that they are the same person. If you could read you would notice the writing style....and length of what is written! I have private messaged both of them on other subjects and they do not always agree.

I know the area of Atlanta that Doc has his practice and Scruffy is in Jacksonville FL for sure because of things he has said.
GET OFF OF IT!

But whatever...it is clear that the dude that started the post does have a problem.

See a counselor dude!

__________________
40 something, 6' 175 brn/brn hairy looking for other married wm or younger guys to play.

There is no way anyone could ever conclude Scruffy is an alter-ego of Dr. Danny or vice-versa unless there was convincing evidence they were one and the same person.

My cyber friend Scruffy does a lot of extensive research that enables him to be knowledgeable and conversant about many things. Having an above-average knowledge about some subjects does not rise to the level where it becomes convincing evidence he is some other alter-ego posting to this or any other board.

The orginal poster begged an answer to a question that met the criterion for seeking professional help. He didn't really believe anyone would have seriously entertained the idea he was a happy camper. Come on people! Don't pray for rain if you can't tolerate the mud.

__________________
Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. And, under a just God, cannot long retain it.

-- Abraham Lincoln

This is really, really bizarre! But in fairness, in some ways, Scruffy IS my alter ego. I only wish I could hold out as long as he claims to be able to!

Can I prove that I'm a real doc? Sure, all I have to do is post my GA medical license No and my DEA. Am I about to? Uh Uh. But I'll give you a hint. The MD license has 6 numbers on it, the first being a "0", my DEA has a total of 9 figures, the first 2 are letters, the next 7 are numbers. Any GA pharmacists wish to confirm the general figures? Now this is public knowledge, but the efforts that I would have to go to just to learn that little factoid for posting today is a bit extreme. I don't have a clue as to how Dr Scruffy's Florida license numbers go.

As to writing to me, I do recall some nasty troll who told me I was a busy body and to f off several months back, but my mailbox doesn't include a "bagerboi" entry. So I took the advice, and and f'd off. If it was this joker, he did get deleted. Any guys out there in cyberland wish to confirm that I return all inquiries?

Scruff, sorry about the dog. In some ways, the loss of a pet is worse than the loss of a friend or family member. We can laugh, but the pain that is felt is real.

And I spent most of last week cooling my heals in the British Museum; no phone calls, no bulletin board postings, no whining patients. Just me and the mummies.

Dr Danny, Atlanta, not Jacksonville (where ever that is)

i have been reading this board off and on for more than five years and i think this is an april fool's joke gone bad.

i may be a little jealous that SC gets his dick sucked so much but there is nothing in his posts, lengthy though they may be, to suggest that he is anything other than the persona he presents on line. Scruf just ignore the guy. the regulars here like you, admire you and sometimes even envy you.

as to the idea that he and dr. danny are the same person. that is too ridiculous to merit even a comment.

ipso are you and badger boi thrilled with your fifteen minutes of B-board fame? i hope so since i don't see much else in your futures.

I am a longtime viewer of these boards.

Its been very interesting watching you guys react to this post. Whether or not this ad is a joke, I dont know, but it certainly seems to have hit a nerve with a few of you.