I saw this in an email newsletter from Frontiers this morning, The 5 Most Perilous Places To Have Sex.

It isn't long at all, but they pretty much say it's risky to have sex:

1. In the Car;
2. At Work;
3. In the Great Outdoors;
4. At the Gym; and
5. On a Plane

My first thought was that at least two or three of these - some folks actually park the car before having sex, it gets distracting, ya know! - are what the Sex Listings are all about, not to mention parts of this Message Board. My predecessor Keith started this in 1995 and I'm keeping the site going, hoping to improve it for the future.

Anyhow, what do you think?

Even more, do you have some stories to share about these or other "Perilous Places" where you've had sex?

Speaking just for me, sometimes the sense of possible danger and "breaking the rules" can add to the excitement. That's true for many of you too, I think.

~ Bob S. Manager/Editor

Quote |

The word 'perilous' may sound a bit too dramatic for two guys rompin' in the hay somewhere but for whatever it may be worth, I have checked all of the listed places and have survived to tell the story, too.

Sure, a dude may get fondled; or he may be even getting a BJ while driving, but most guys know where to find a somewhat secluded place for their encounters. A few will always get caught and get themselves into legal troubles but by far, most of such encounters end up being totally problem free.

'At Work' may mean practically anything these days. I doubt that too many dudes happen to be totally reckless and openly risk their positions for the sake of some quick if possibly hot fun. For the rest of us, there is a big, gray area where we can build some reasonable expectation of privacy and feel protected by the consenting status of the guys involved, the fact that you may be running your own business, that none of the guys will go on reporting the events, etc.

The 'Great Outdoors' is one of those irresistible places to risk it all. Yet, the great outdoors are usually pretty big, and with some common sense, you may really find a place that would be reasonably safe for your encounter. If you keep your timing in check, and have some luck on your side, all will be good.

Now, if you are frequenting a regular gym, you may really want to be very careful. Quite a few str8 guys still believe in guilt by association, and find it their sacred duty to police the masculinity of other guys. Yet, with a number of gay gyms around, you may be better off pumping iron in an environment that would be more agree comfortable with your sexual proclivities. Besides, I support gay business whenever I can.

A plane requires a lot of caution. Overnight long-haul flights aboard semi-empty planes with most or all people asleep works for some limited action between two careful and sound dudes who know the rules of engagement.

True, added risk makes the whole experience a bit more exciting. And it does feel good to know that you can have m2m sex everywhere because that's how we must have been wired to believe.

Yet, no one out there should throw the caution to the winds. Life without any risk would probably not be worth living but risking TOO much for a fleeting encounter should be kept in check, too.

KD

Quote |

I didn't actually say, but when I was younger I had many encounters in "The Great Outdoors," also "At the Gym," and (although) they didn't mention it, in public toilets. I never had one on a plane, but I did on a Northeast Corridor Amtrak train. That was followed up by a brief interlude at the other guy's NYC hotel.

Work was always off-limits for me, under the "don't sh*t where you eat" principle. I had a couple very attractive straight bosses at different who I fantasized about, but at work I always wanted to leave my affairs at home. Or at least, I'd leave them in a park or at the mall on my lunch break.

Now, there were a couple times I jerked off while driving either on a deserted highway or in the middle of the night. That was exciting but not really, how to say it, fulfilling. It's was great, sure, but you still have to drive! Then there was that time parked on the street next to the Australian Embassy - I may have mentioned that before, I don't recall - and other cars and pickups, an 18-wheeler, and so on and so forth.

As a passenger in a car a few years ago I had part of a BDSM experience - dick out and tied up with leather cords - and the Master/Daddy was driving. I stroked his dick or sucked, too. However, that was just an interlude among more intense play and personal revelation in a hotel room and other places around that town at night. A memorable experience, actually, with a unique person and something I'd do only with someone special. This man I'd never met or known before, we found an instant deep mutual connection, met again once, planned to meet further, but something happened...

Life moved on. These recent years I've had so little time available for this, and more responsibilities too. Perhaps that will change, since you truly never know what surprises are in store.

~ Bob

Quote |

Hummmm....

I guess some of it depends on what you define as "sex". If alone counts and another person is not required to be there I guess I am guilty of all of the above

The "great outdoors" surprises me but I that depends on where you are. We had plenty of woods and fields around - so growing up the great outdoors was much safer than the house lots of times - much less chance of someone catching you and on weekends and things often it was the only place for some privacy!

In the car I guess also depends on the situation. Never did more than some foreplay while driving and that was just to keep things going until we got somewhere private to park - never did it in a "risky" parking area - but places like the parking lot behind the church late on a Saturday night were nice and private!

Quote |

I have had my own place all to myself ever since the age of 18.

Both my hookups/buddies/bfs, etc., tended to be a bit more conservative when it came to the thrills of the m2m sex. Comfort was welcome if less essential. But since being caught was not really an option in those days, doing it behind the double-locked doors was a very good plan, indeed.

The great outdoors, planes, cars, and other 'risky' places happened because we bumped into each other somewhere nearby, and doing it there and then sounded like the best or even the only available option. The greatest attraction here was probably the ego boost both of us received knowing that we could have sex without actually putting any effort in cruising for it, too.

This has changed very much with all the massive use of the apps. Cruising is both everywhere and all the time these days. Sure, to a degree, this is good. On the other hand, the life's important rituals, expectations, etc. all mostly vanished, too.

Just another trade off...

KD

Quote |

Being caught was not an option AT ALL back then. You were very lucky to have your own place so young.

Both my parents worked so when younger if during work hours my place was always safe - but luckily where I grew up the great outdoors was in many ways the safest - if not the most comfortable.

There was a woods and a large agricultural field right near the house - so when parents were home or might get home we knew there was very little chance of getting caught there.

But there were chances taken - some of them pretty stupid - but at that age being horny rules out over logic and sometimes we just needed it. I guess we will never know for certain - but as far as I know we were never caught.... thank god!

Quote |

Of course, so many guys were caught, too.

I've got a very busy day ahead but I glanced at Wikipedia and saw the History of gay men in the United States. I'm pointing it at the 1950s but a lot comes after.

I'm thinking of UpStairs Lounge arson attack in New Orleans: "The reaction by the city and media following the attack was indifferent. Those seeking burial services for the dead were turned away by many churches, and several families refused to come forward to claim victims' bodies out of shame. While most news outlets ignored the story, mentions of the incident in editorials and talk radio made light of the tragedy, mocking the victims because of their sexual orientation."

I also thought of the well-publicized cases of U.S. Congressman Bob Baumann (my former boss in the 80s grew up in his district), U.S. Senator Larry Craig, Pastor Ted Haggard, various celebrities. And it continues with so many ordinary men even now. I see it every week in the Sex Listings Heads Up page.

Gotta run, two medical appointments today and so much work...

~ Bob

Quote |

No doubt, we were all so careful NOT to get caught for a reason. We knew, we were going to face some nasty music if we got ourselves into this kind of mess. I doubt that anyone thought that this was not fair in those days. If anyone bumped into a heterosexual couple getting at it, no one would think of it anything else but saying, 'mildly embarassing'. Mostly for the girl...

Lesson learnt: priceless! A few of us have learnt that we do not have to go with the flow. That we can have our own lives for ourselves, no matter what the society, the church or the government were telling us in those days.

We all soon learnt that the different sets of rules applied to different folks. If you lacked means and resources you were seriously disadvantaged. If you you knew how to make the income needed, you were enjoying much safer, more comfortable, freer life. It made a lot of sense for a gay guy to look into this very seriously and try very, very hard to outrun the rest...

KD

Quote |

More than "mostly for the girl" - in one of the inequities of life - the guy was a stud the girl was a slut.

Ah the joys of teenage sex....

Quote |

Whereas many attitudes towards human sexuality have changed very drastically in Europe, the Americas and Australasia to the best of my knowledge, heteroslut shaming is still well and alive at most places.

Modernity has largely accepted the LGBT world mostly because it really does not intrude very much into the personal lives of the heterosexual majority. In the end, the two OTHER dudes romping in the hay are living their lives. They are not affecting anyone else who has no part in it anyway.

Now marrying a confirmed 'slut' and raising children (whose children?) with her affects the very core existence of the heterosexual couple. Thus, the attitude changes mightily.

KD

Quote |

I've only done 1-car (a few times),3-woods (fair amount when young), & 4-gym (once). In the house when no one else was home was the preferred, outdoors in the woods and a couple 'hidden spots' was good (when weather allowed).
Sad to see on my last trip to my old stomping grounds, all the woods I played in are now mostly commercial properties and condos/housing developments. And those hidden-spots are either gone entirely or lock-gated/blocked.

Quote |

Whether in California or New England a man's cock just tastes better when it the great outdoors

Of course its with discretion, I'm not interested in getting arrested
Or the wife finding out

Quote |

Did it in the car plenty of times when younger - but (almost) always somewhere safe that I knew we would not get caught. And this was before there were cameras everywhere.

The great outdoors? As a youth that was one of the most safe spaces! Woods or fields where you would hear if anyone was getting in the area where often much safer than at home where someone could show up without warning!

Quote |

It was in the car (stationary, of course), and in the house while my parents were away on vacation. In the car, we found secluded spots. When at night, a residential area was good enough as it was dark outside. During the day, it was near a suburban airport. In those days, we had to find solutions as we didn't have our own place, and couldn't afford a hotel room. But what fun!

Quote |

I was thinking back on this and the aspect of "in the car".

Younger it was easy to find a dark place to park and fool around - but these days I notice so many homes have cameras either doorbell or on the house it would be a lot easier to get filmed in the car!

Quote |