What is safe sex?

baltoouija · #1 8th February 2005, 10:40 AM

Safe sex, opinions wanted
I know a lot of guys who, when engage in anal sex as a top, insist on wearing a condom. I find this to be an appropriate practice and encourage it.

Yet, the same guy will say he enjoys sucking a nice cock, and swallowing.

I realize the risk of contracting HIV is not a severe with oral sex, the risk is still there nonetheless.

How would you justify declaring that you only practice safe sex, yet you swallow??

I am not being judgemental (I don't intend to be anyway), I just fail to see the logic in this.

jakeboy85 · #2 8th February 2005, 12:46 PM

There is no such thing as "safe sex", just precautions used during sexual activity. Yes, a condom is one of the safer ways to enjoy sex, but it does not come with a 100% guarantee (as we all know).

Anal sex is much more dangerous than oral sex… MUCH more. Anal is, well… dirty. It is a turn on, and feels good, but it is still dirty when done unprotected. Feces are feces, no matter how clean the person is. Oral isn’t so risky, but do not let that fool you into thinking you’re immune from STD’s if you’re taking in a guy unprotected.

Anal and oral is something I enjoy after at least talking to the guy… I would never just go into some place and start sucking. Do you know how dangerous that is? It’s about self respect for yourself, even if you might be horny.

KewlDewd66 · #3 8th February 2005, 04:06 PM

Nothing save total abstinence offers a complete safety when it comes to STD. Even abstinence, though highly impracticable for most people may fail you, just because you got an STD using other means of transmission. OK, so we all agree, life is lethal.

Most people I have encountered over the last 15 or more years accept the use of condoms when it comes to anal sex. Few, very few insist on bbacking these days for all the obvious reasons.

Oral sex is still somewhat a gray zone to many people. IMHE, most guys will suck you without condom and some 2/3 of the dudes I have encountered will suck you with a condom, if you insist on it.

Admittedly, HIV transmission via oral sex does not top the list of risky behavior. But the risk, even if relatively very small is there. I could personally live with it as I see the risk to be within acceptable limits. However, I always, always insist on wearing a condom, of the guy is going to suck me. This decision is purely based on the fact that a number of other STDs can easily be ( and usually are) transmitted orally. I have made a conscious decision that I do not want to catch any bug, and that a bj is just not worth it. Besides, condom works for me just fine. I last longer, I have little or no fear and if the guy is good, I can still shoot without the warning.

A more serious cause for advocating 'oral with condom only' is a regional syphillis epidemic I have encountered in San Francisco. The matter has been going on for some 3 years or so and is till not subsiding. The fact is that syphilis lowers your resistance substantially and may make you three times more susceptible to HIV seroconversion than would be the case, if you were healthy, all according to the posters placed by the SF Dept of Public Health.

I am neither an MD nor a scientist and have neither knolwedge nor means to go into independent research and confirm this independently. I have decided to trust the Dept. of Public Health on this issue. Everyone must make his own decision on the subject but I feel it appropriate to share with you all of this guys, hoping that you may make an educated decision for yourselves.

KD

GuyTopeka · #4 8th February 2005, 06:05 PM

The more accurate term would be safer sex. And that is still relative to the moment. Condoms do not prevent all STD's, whether used for oral or anal. HPV can be transmitted by bare skin-to-skin contact that happens while you are engaging in protected sex.

As for swallowing, by the time you have received something to swallow, you have been fully exposed to any STD the guy might have. Swallowing is pretty much incidental to the overall exposure level. Mouth to cock is all it takes, even for just a moment.

Precautions are about reducing the level of risk. You have to live with the level of risk you assume. Having sex is akin to driving. You can take every precaution or none, comport yourself in a sane manner or be reckless in your behavior. And you can be playing be the rules and be hurt by someone who is not.

Yeah, no one has to study or pass a test to be given a license to have sex. But likewise there are many out on the road who do not have a license to be there. And you never know who they are until it is too late.

ScruffyCub · #5 8th February 2005, 06:29 PM

I'm glad that a guy who is interested in sex with equines is not coming here to ask a question with the intent of being judgmental regarding the various responses.

Seriously, dude... what did those cute little horses ever do to you?

"Safe sex" also does NOT generally include sex with livestock. Just for the record, of course.

While it is true that species to species transfer of disease is rare, it is not outside the realm of possibility. Do consider the Swine Flu scare in the middle seventies and the current considerations regarding the new Bird Flu. And we could always discuss the theory that AIDS itself originated in monkeys and that the virus made the leap to humans.

Besides... I mean, really... horse dick? People you meet are going to start asking: "What's that smell?"

And if someone from PETA ever catches you, there will be hell to pay.

("Search user posts" if anyone out there has no idea why I felt obliged to mention the above.)

I don't wish to be "judgmental" either... but I am. And quite often, too. I eat a LOT of meat and don't really care much exactly HOW the moo-cow in question that comprises my cheeseburger is slaughtered. Yet I just cannot find the necessary political correctness inside of me (what a surprise) to dismiss bestiality.

Yet I'll answer the question that was posed anyway.

THEORETICALLY, abstinence is the only TRUE form of safe sex.

Playing with semantics a little bit, we CAN say, however, that "SAFER" sex is possible.

And safer sex is defined by each individual.

We all must come to our own conclusions as to what is an acceptable level of risk for ourselves. That which makes us comfortable enough within our daily lives so that we don't spend the bulk of our time living in fear -- tempered by that which provides a satisfying sex life.

Sometimes we deny ourselves things which we might otherwise desire. We may want to eat three or four slices of cheesecake if no one happens to be watching, but hopefully we have enough willpower to find satisfaction with just ONE. Most folks want to live pleasurable lives, but not when certain pleasures could result in the END of our lives completely. Sometimes it isn't worth it to take risks in the pursuit of pleasure. Sometimes we will take mild or moderate risks. Sometimes we choose to take NO risks at all.

How we come to these decisions is a process that is often ongoing throughout our lives. Generally speaking, young people tend to take more risks, feeling invincible. As we age, we start to recognize that our actions have consequences. Sometimes certain psychological illnesses can result in reckless behavior, but we don't need to detail all those myriad possibilities. Sadly, sometimes it is pure ignorance of the facts which lead us to taking risks -- if we don't KNOW we are taking risks we are unable to even comprehend the possible consequences. Luckily, most people are educated, not sociapathic, and even many young folks these days are wise enough to have a handle on their sexuality.

We do what is right for US -- and hopefully, but doing what is right for US, we are also doing what is right for our community (and even for those who exist outside of or on the fringes of our community, such as the wives and girlfriends of men who live "on the down low").

By understanding the consequences of our actions, and by understanding the facts regarding the known and speculated risks of individual sexual acts, we can form a sort of platform of activities which balance personal safety along with personal pleasures.

But, really... let's leave the horses out of this.

PS: Edited to apologize for repeating what GuyTopeka said, to the point of using identical phrases here and there -- we were both writing our posts at similar times, as the time-stamp indicates. Great minds think alike!

GuyTopeka · #6 9th February 2005, 12:13 AM

Scruffy,

I think with lumping your mind in with mine, you inadvertantly insulted yourself.

I worked around farm animals as a child. So whenever anyone discusses attempting bestiality, my first thought is always "how are they gonna keep from having the shit kicked out of them by the animal?" You start handling a horse's gonads and he is likely to take serious offense unless you do it delicately.

And cattle are the same way. Our holsteins were some of the more gentle variety of cattle, but they could land a hoof with deadly precision. One guy at the local auction barn ended up on the wrong end of a hoof and received an involuntary lobotomy.

I know of at least one fellow back home that had a thing for pigs, but he favored the smaller ones. He didn't try to impress the full-grown sows with his prowess. His sister told me all about it. (I think she was mostly pissed he chose the livestock over her)

Where am I going with all this? Nowhere. Just sharing some warm childhood memories with you all.

GayWhiteTrash · #7 9th February 2005, 02:41 PM

Nothing gets my blood boiling more than abused and neglected animals. Just this week a women in suburban Atlanta was discovered to have 160 cats in her house, 134 were dead. About a year or so ago some teens decided dousing a dog with lighter fluid and setting him on fire would be entertaining. If baltoouija actually gets a chance to cop a feel or even suck some horse cock I see no real harm done. I don't think the horse will be traumatized in any way. Don't get me wrong, I'm not advocating beastality. I just think the horse can take care of himself. As GuyTopeka suggested a few swift kicks to the head of baltoouija might change the way he thinks of horse dick and anything else for that matter.

jakeboy85 · #8 9th February 2005, 03:09 PM

How could anyone use an animal for sexual satisfaction? Are you that low on the dating totem poll that you cannot find anyone other than a cow or horse? As far as I’m concerned, there’s a special place in hell for animal abusers, whether it be physical or sexual.

ScruffyCub · #9 10th February 2005, 02:10 PM

GuyTopeka: Aw, come, now... don't sell yourself short. You've got a great mind. I always respect your opinions and enjoy your posts. And, if my memory of Kansas serves me well, there are LOTS of handsome men there. Bet you are one of them. Anyone who has traveled the country may have noted certain features which become more predominant in certain geographical locations. This is less and less true in larger, urban areas and in states with a wider variety of "melting pot" cultures, but... there's definitely a bit of similarity in lesser populated areas. This is simple to understand when we take into consideration a tighter gene pool. Point being -- I LOVED Kansas men last time I was there. Some kind of mid-way appeal between urban and cowboy. And denim. Lots and lots of denim...

I also agree that a horse can take care of himself and would not be psychologically damaged by a sexual encounter with a human. Yet I also agree that sucking off "My Pretty Pony" leaves a lot to the imagination regarding the psychological profile of the human who desires this!

I FUME when I hear those same stories of abused animals. It happens EVERYWHERE. And yes, I am even more horrified and disgusted when atrocities happen to human beings. Cruelty and evil don't sit well with me. I don't hide my head in the sand and ignore what happens in the world around me, but I DO sometimes hurry to the remote control and mute the TV when a particularly disgusting story is on the air. I feel a need to KNOW about these things, but I do NOT need to have the information repeated to me over and over ad nauseam. The videos of beheadings, for example. Unbearably horrific. I do not need to witness this several times. Images of starved and dead animals -- don't want to have those burned into my memory, either.

I rarely have any dreams that ever frighten me... but sometimes if I hear a story of such intense horror such as the two examples above, I will wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.

Sorry to have turned this post around, but I thought it was important to understand the frame of mind of the guy that asked the question. This helps in formulating an appropriate response. It seemed disingenuous to me to doubt the definitions of "safer sex" of other dudes who are actually just having sex with human beings. The species to species transfer of disease that I mentioned was mostly just to be dramatic and a little bit silly. It's almost certainly not a REAL issue here.

Thought I can't help but add Mad Cow Disease into the mix, now that I think about it... Oh, and toxoplasmosis from cat excrement (a danger to pregnant women and HIV infected individuals). Oh, yeah... rabies, too. I'd strongly advise AGAINST seeking a blowjob from that raccoon which scours the dumpster behind your apartment building each and every night looking for dinner. Well, unless he's REALLY handsome...

Yep. A horse is a horse, of course of course. And if that horse doesn't want someone getting near his dick, he's got the means available to provide a hoof to the head. Or he could always just piss on you...

ButchMascGuy · #10 11th February 2005, 04:09 AM

I would only add that a person who uses an animal for their sexual pleasure is in good company with those who use a child for the same purpose. Both share the common trait of having no conscience.

It's been said that evil resides in the minds of people without a conscience. This is demonstratably true in the absense of empathy for another human being or animal.

Need we say anything more?

hairylegs · #11 11th February 2005, 12:37 PM

When I was in college, there was a farmboy in the dorm who insisted he never had a woman as good as a pig. (Maybe it was the other way around,and I misheard him, but I don't think so). Apparently he once (and only once) tried his amourous skills on a cow. The cow, however, had other ideas regarding her honor. He never tried it again.

He was a weird guy. High pitched voice, too.

GuyTopeka · #12 11th February 2005, 07:07 PM

I am not here to defend horny young farmboys. But I will try to explain why they do sometimes fuck the livestock.

It boils down to boredom + livestock = experimentation. I can tell you from living on a farm out in the middle of nowhere, the boredom can be excruciating. You guys growing up in cities and towns had much much more access to oppurtunities just because of the population density of your surroundings. Not so for farm kids.

I never took it out on the livestock, but several of my peers did. They didn't do it to harm the critters, they just wanted to try getting off in a different way. That and in some cases, homegrown drugs came into play. I also think that most of them started thinking with their small head and it cut off blood to their big head. That is why they did the stupid things they did.

One guy got the bright idea that the calf he was bottle-feeding would be happy to have the nipple replaced by a similar shaped part of his anatomy. Anyone ever watch a calf nurse? Periodically they butt their mother's udder to stimulate milk production. Anyone see where this is going?

Well he stood with his back to a wall (god knows why). The calf hooked up, he found himself caught between a vise and a hard place. The calf started head-butting him in the crotch and just about slammed his balls out of their sac. In no time he was on the ground and clutching his jewels and throwing up from the
abuse. And the calf kept trying to get at his cock because it thought it was dinner. He told me he crawled out of that pen on his hands and knees and laid on the ground for quite some time.

I have had calves lick my hands as I am trying to guide their mouths to the nipple on the bottle or bucket. I can tell you I wouldn't want that thing anywhere near my tool.

Sheep and pigs also played into some of these guy's schemes. Luckily most times I was spared the details. With the exception of the one guy and the pigs, most all of them did not make it a habit, nor did they try it more than once.

Their experimentation wasn't limited to livestock either. One hapless fellow tried his luck with a milking machine. Ouch!! Cows' teats are smaller than most guy's cocks. All I could figure out is he somehow hooked himself up while he was flaccid. And by the time he was hard, he was in a world of hurt. He walked funny for a few days. Pissed his dad off like hell because the machinery had to be resterilized. And that involved flushing a lot of pipework.

And of course, there was cow tipping. It was non-sexual, but still done to relieve boredom.

And speaking of boredom, I happen to live in Kansas at the moment, but I was not born here. I came to Topeka due to a job transfer. And everybody wears denim because fashion is just not a priority. People spend more sensibly is my take on it. Rich and poor dress alike around here. And in this state, denim can be worn for formal occasions and nobody cares.

As for my looks, I'm best described as having a wonderful personality.

ButchMascGuy · #13 11th February 2005, 11:15 PM

Most of us also know that boredom + livestock = experimentation has another meaning -- sodomy.

Since we are still talking about a person with no conscience -- as in having no empathy for another person or animal -- calling sodomy experimentation would be like calling genocide ethnic cleansing.

I'm not a stranger to rural life either. I have a very painful memory of stopping on a rural farm road late one night to take a much needed piss. It was very dark and I couldn't see anything beyond 2 feet in front of me. Shortly after starting my stream of piss, I received a shocking surprise that instantly jolted me. Needless to say, the piss flew everywhere and I learned a valuable lesson -- beware of electric fences near dark rural country roads.

Jeremy974 · #14 12th February 2005, 02:18 AM

BMG---we're all guilty of sodomy.

from dictionary.com:

sod·om·y Any of various forms of sexual intercourse held to be unnatural or abnormal, especially anal intercourse or bestiality.

Plus, the legal definition of sodomy is any sexual act that doesn't involve procreation.

And for those of you throwing rocks, remember that you live in glass houses....so be careful.

ScruffyCub · #15 12th February 2005, 02:26 PM

We DO understand that I feel "lots and lots of denim" is a GOOD thing, right?