Hi guys,

sorry this is a bit off topic but if I'd placed it in the politics/debate section, no-one would have read it!

I am a gay academic who has written extrensively about gay culture on the Internet (mainly in relation to Japan). I have been asked by another gay academic and writer on Australia's gay porn culture (the author of a rather famous article entitled "Suck on this Mate" which crops up in various anthologies of queer culture), to contribute an essay on "the best gay porn site" for a volume he is editing for Blackwell's (US) entitled "Beautiful Things in Popular Culture." The purpose of the volume is to draw attention to usually overlooked aspects of popular culture - things that millions of us use but rarely get theorised or written about - like porn, TV soaps etc. Having been subscribed to cruisingforsex (under the name urusaineko - Japanese for "noisy cat") for over 2 years, I naturally thought about writing about CFS. My treatment, needless to say, would be celebratory, and, drawing on aspects of queer theory, would talk about the site's function in creating an international public space that is of exceptional importance for MSM - not just "gay" men.

Research ethics demand that I can't just take stuff of the site and cite it without permission. Keith, the cruisemaster, has said he's fine about me going public with the article and has answered some queries but what I really would like is some first-person quotes - stuff from actual users saying what you think is really cool/useful/revolutionary/remarkable or even daggy/uncool/frustrating about the site. Has it changed your lives? or has it just provided an alternative to the TV?

If you'd be kind enough to post your comments in this thread (on the understanding that I may use them) that would be great. If you want the quote to be used anonymously (i.e. without your handle, that's fine, too, just say so). Feel free to communicate anything you want or would like me to consider - but bear in mind I only have 5000 words!

Thanks guys.

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I would feel free to disregard the part regarding your crediatials and reasons/motivation to post your question. The matter has such a hollow ring about it, if you are catching my drift...

Yet, I find your question (academic or not) to be highly relevant.

CFS did not change my life. With all due respect, it takes a bit more to get there.

I do enjoy some of the boards here. More often than not, you read about the experiences and views of the members that would have been normally hidden from the public eye and general, if anonymous scrutiny.

You are often confronted with the need to respond and put down your thoughts and ideas into a desirably coherent form which might benefit the other readers, while it certainly benefits you.

You are learning to be both responsible and respectful. Responsible for your own statements and the impact these may have on other people and respectful of other people's views that might be very different from yours.

For most part, the dabate here is unabated and free. Something startified societies largely lack these days. We judge the contributions on their face value for what they are and are free to disregard the position of the author. One of the last places where someone can be right or wrong and recognized as such regardless of his wealth and social status.

You are learning how to deal with people who are firmly set in their ways and are here on a mission to convert the rest of us to their own ways and share with us 'the light they saw'. They are so easy to recognize and they have not been very successful here. Which is very encouraging, in my mind, that is.

Last but not least: the boards are here for what they are. They were not meant to be liked or disliked by anyone. If you find their content and their form to be to your satisfaction, just like anyone else, you are free to use them. I do, without having to divide the aspects into my likes/my dislikes.

Just my 2 cents,

KD

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Simply put:

CFS is fun.

There's more to it than that, but really... that's the bottom line, at least for me.

When I no longer enjoy myself doing any particular activity, I look for something else.

Message boards and writing have been a large part of my life for too many years to count. Sex is a topic of great interest to me -- CFS combines these things in a nice little package.

I enjoy hearing about the lives of other gay men. I am fascinated by our similarities and our differences. I'm intrigued with the gay subculture and I get a bang out of hearing various stories regarding experiences others have had -- as well as sharing my own.

But there's also lots of room for serious contributions to our community here -- I DO wish the forums were more active and we had a steady influx of new users. We can teach each other things here. Safe sex is a priority of mine -- it makes sense that I'd want to help educate those who have questions about that topic, or at least point them in the right direction. Sexual discussion leads to discussion about the human body in general -- sexual science and medical issues are common here. I find these things fun and interesting.

CFS doesn't moderate forums for "offensive" language: I love to write colloquially and have the freedom to use vulgarity anytime I like, whether it is gratuitously or seriously.

This isn't the only message board I use, and certainly not the first. But it IS one of my favorites. After spending a long time here, you start to feel as if you "know" some of the other members, insomuch as anyone can "know" anyone else in an online arena. But this type of community feeling isn't unique to CFS: it's part of the message board experience just about everywhere, with some exceptions made for forums who have such large populations of newbies asking the same questions over and over, as you might find in a forum about, say, common computer issues, etc.

I certainly DO feel altruistic to a very slim degree if I can provide information that actually helps someone, but after all these years online posting on message boards, I'm well aware that advice isn't always appreciated, even when it is SOUGHT. Sometimes folks only want to hear what they WANT to hear.

And while it is true what KD said, that sometimes there are folks on message boards who have an agenda and desire to "convert" others to their own way of thinking, I tend to believe these are few and far between -- and most of them, when they do show up, usually try to be obnoxious for a few weeks and then tend to vanish. I certainly hope no one here thinks I am one of those types of people. While I am VERY opinionated, I am not foolish enough to believe that others will suddenly start living their lives as I choose to live my own. I ENJOY sharing my opinion, so I provide it freely and openly. THIS is a large part of what I enjoy about CFS -- the freedom to express my opinions as I see fit.

Others often disagree with me and express THEIR opinions in turn. Yet it seems a lot of folks get upset if I defend my opinions. I don't really understand this... but I don't think it's necessary that I do.

I'd rather just have a good time -- and CFS provides that.

One last thing: it seems that the majority of CFS users are here seeking sex. This is as it should be: promoting sexual freedom and making sexual connections is pretty much the basis of the site, or at least the genesis of it, though it has changed over the years somewhat. So the responses you get here, in the Special Interests section of the boards, will probably NOT be reflective of the opinions of MOST of the guys who come here simply seeking a bed buddy and having little or no interest in social issues.

Keep that in mind.

Good luck with your writing.

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SAFE SEX, the next best thing to being there.

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Over the years, this particular website has received many criticisms as well as the well-earned aclaim it richly deserves. This website facilitates communication between and among "men cruising other men" for what else -- sex. There is something for virtually everyone who visits this website.

This website has been popular for many years because it does serve Gay Culture, principly, as well as serves a vital information need for communicating with and between ourselves.

We know why this website is popular and successful. I've only touched upon one of the most important reasons. There are other important reasons and those are based on CFS meeting or exceeding the expectations of the many of us who frequently come back to this website.

I am grateful this website does exist and has existed for many years. It has brought many people together, in one way or another, and we have certainly benefited from having access to the information we have at this site. If CFS wasn't meeting some or most of our expectations, it would have gone by the wayside a long time ago.

__________________
Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. And, under a just God, cannot long retain it.

-- Abraham Lincoln

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I found CFS by doing a search for"cruising for sex" several years ago. I'm on my third screen name and I'm about ready to change it again.

I've been a cruiser since 1979 when I discovered men having sex behind bushes in Piedmont Park in Atlanta. It didn't take long to find out men were having sex all over the place. I did my best to find every cruisy spot in town. Back then word of mouth was the best (and only)way to find the hot spots.

When I finally got around to buying a computer back in '98 and getting online some of the old cruising spots had dried up. So like I said I did a search and up comes CFS. Being the whoredog that I was back then I really didn't find any new places to cruise, I knew em all. I tryed the online cruising thing but found out very quickly that it was too time consuming and used by a lot of liars. I'd rather cruise face to face anytime plus I just like to cruise. It's a lot more fun than sitting in front of a computer looking for sex.

I only look at the message boards at CFS now. I see it as better entertainment than TV and who knows I might just learn something. I just wish more guys would post thier thoughts and ideas here.

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How I found this site is a big chuckle...

A few years ago, Channel 5 (FOX) here in NYC was doing some sweeps-week, proclamations-of-doom, do-you-know-what-is-going-on-in your -town sort of salacious bullshit report about men using the internet to find places to have sex with each other...

WELL,

They showed a shot of CRT with this site on it, with the URL clearly visible.

Thanks, Rupert!!

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Just for the record, I've seen CFS plastered on the evening news in several cities: at home in Jacksonville, in Buffalo when visiting family (not this time, but previously), and somewhere else while traveling and watching TV in a hotel room. I'm thinking Virginia, maybe, but I can't remember for sure.

CFS gets a bad reputation in that way, but clearly only in the minds of those who don't comprehend what the site is all about. I think that's understandable -- if you aren't gay and have never experienced the cruising subculture, you'd would be likely to see it as nothing but perversion and filth and wanton sex.

Who would guess that you can actually make friends, share some momentary love and respect, and have a really good time while cruising? Well, WE could guess that... many others cannot.

I DO believe CFS has some ability to unite the community. And not only does it work in this way for gay guys, it welcomes ALL guys. Just look at the posts with the largest numbers of hits -- they are almost always related to topics dealing with sexual desires that are unspoken or hidden. There's LOTS of dudes out there who want to be with other dudes but aren't sure what to do about it. At the very least, CFS can point them in the right direction. At best, it just might even help a few folks discover their own sexual identity and become comfortable with it.

I recently posted in the state forums to see if I might meet someone during my travels... but no luck. I have only met ONE man from CFS in all my time here (he was great, but still...). So I enjoy the site on other levels instead of focusing on finding sex. You can't RELY on CFS for all your sex or you'll just end up frustrated. I don't believe it is the intent of CFS for men to do that, either: the Sex Listings provide the directions but YOU have to do the rest. The state forums are a great alternative option to seek the sex you want (as are the Communal Stalls) -- but as with any online sex... take it with a grain of salt.

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Perversion, filth, wanton sex? What's wrong with that? I like all three, well, not too much filth, but maybe a little.

I know several holier than thou types that could use a dose of all three.

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I check out CFS off and on but don't take it too seriously in terms of trying to meet new fellows personally. Given health concerns, there are safer ways and the promiscuity of some of the members scares me--you know the type who say they'll leave the hotel door open and be lying on the bed blindfolded and thus willing to take on anyone, bareback or protected. In other words, there seem to be some great guys participating, but I think it not too judgemental to say that, if taken at their printed word, there are some real perverts out there too (I can hear the responses to that choice of words, but I do think there are limits or reasonable boundaries, even among consenters, though this might be a good topic for further discussion). Since going on in 2000 it seems there is much less usage. Take my state of Wisconsin where we then had many posts daily. I just checked it out--we've had three posts beginning Nov. 23. That's in a state with over 2.5 million males (granted, some are very young, some very old). This trend is probably not surprising--I noticed that in just regular e-mailing, the novelty has worn off over the past four years.
One thing CFS does is aid in the fantasy aspect of sex, and don't underestimate the significance of fantasy. Also, while not naming names, I've long wondered where the hell some of the regular contributers find the time to write the tomes they contribute--if they know so much, shouldn't they be fucking or at least whacking off more? I'm just kidding there fellows but me thinks there is some over-kill present at times.
Over the four years I've checked things out with CFS, I've arranged to meet with five fellows, always with the agreement that we'd meet first, each having the right to decline without offense. One was a no show, two we decided mutually not to proceed, and two were green lighted. Was it worth the time, effort, etc. ? Probably not. Last Saturday, when horney as hell, I went cruising at a relatively low volume location not far from home. I'm not a particularly good nor experienced cruiser, but I decided my over-worked wrists deserved a rest and it was time for the real thing. Within 5-10 minutes I made eye contact, we chatted for a few minutes and then walked back to my place. A nice guy. An out-of-towner but I think we'll probably "remain friends" on a weekend basis for quite a while. I know it's only a sample of one, but I believe what it boils down to is if one wants results, it's best to go shopping where you can see the actual goods rather than ordering through the catalog (or internet). That being said, I'll continue to check out CFS if only for the fantasy aspect.

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Being in late middle age, I especially enjoy fellows who prefer guys a tad older since we're often more interested in the total process including massages, etc, rather than simply quickies.

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GWT asked: "What's wrong with perversion, filth and wanton sex?"

Not a damn thing!

Personally, I get into sex on all sorts of different levels. I love it romantic and erotic, I love it down and dirty.

It's just a shame that there's a lot of folks who don't understand gay people and who think that our lives consist of nothing but "dirty" sexual acts.

I'm having an interesting time discussing sex with my best friend these last couple weeks. We haven't seen each other for a few years and though we've talked on the phone, it appears she has a lot more to tell me in person about her sex life. It seems she's quite the little whore, so to speak! I'm teasing her about it: she's getting WAY more action than I am right now -- and that's a LOT of action, considering I've been a bit of a pig myself lately. I told her she has more men orbiting her at the present time than Saturn has moons.

The point being: ALL human beings are sexually driven by design. It's in our DNA. If we don't procreate, there's no more human race.

Sadly, a lot of folks repress their sexuality for various reasons we need not discuss. It amazes and intrigues me that people attach a moral implication to the most BASIC of human necessities: the necessity to make MORE humans.

That's just plain silly.

CFS, I think, recognizes that MEN WANT TO FUCK. CFS isn't ashamed to promote healthy sex.

Good for CFS!

One last little dig here: while no names were mentioned (how sweetly correct), speaking as a poster who writes "tomes," I just wanted to say that it really doesn't take away any potential sex from my life to contribute to message boards. Perhaps it might be encouraging to more folks out there to sign online and contribute some of THEIR personal histories, too -- I, for one, would love to read them. It's EASY to both get plenty of sex and do some fun writing, for heaven's sake.

Let's put it this way: I get online, write some stuff on CFS, and at the same time stop into a gay chat for my local area. Should someone in chat want to suck my dick, I would have little trouble putting my current post on hold when they knock on my door. Get it?

Since the town I am visiting has an fairly active ABS scene, I've become quite the collector of tokens just lately. Being "fresh meat" when I walk into an arcade, I have NO trouble getting my dick sucked in no time flat. Currently I have ten bucks worth of tokens I haven't needed to drop into coin slots. If I purchase five dollars worth, take another five dollars worth inside with me from my cache, I usually walk out with at least half of them so I always seem to have ten bucks left over. I still have tokens from VGR systems in West Virginia (those men are HOT) which work in VGR booths right here.

What I'm trying to say is I'm getting LOTS of hot sex lately. I don't give a fuck if anyone thinks I'm being a pig -- I AM and I LIKE IT A LOT.

And what do you know? I can STILL post often and my dick doesn't suffer the consequences.

I just thought some folks might like to know how a guy can have the best of both worlds, enjoying two "hobbies" at the same time.

Of course, when I go back to Florida I'll probably be back here complaining about getting nothing at all, but for now: I had to give my dick a two-day rest to allow for a bit of minor tooth scraping to heal up.

Filth, perversion and wanton sex: it's a good thing!

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Scruff--not shocked to hear from you. I said nothing about filth or wanton sex--of course raunch is part of the fun. But I do think it crosses into perversion when it gets into the disregard for health issues and I think Dr. Danny might agree with me. Prior to the early '80s it was one thing to play unprotected; then it was a matter of inconveniences such as warts, clap, etc. Nothing deadly if handled properly. The HIV thing changed all of that. What I'm saying is that as fun as sex is, when someone knowingly takes such great risks, time and time again, without regard for his health and probably not that of partners, and they are unable to control things--ya--it strikes me as a bit perverse and I stand by that judgement.
Re: my little dig about those who write tomes. I wanted a reaction and figured that would do it, and it did. I hope our little exchange gets others to reply. And for what it's worth, when responses are too long, I don't bother to read them and I'm sure I'm not alone.
Take care! AG

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Being in late middle age, I especially enjoy fellows who prefer guys a tad older since we're often more interested in the total process including massages, etc, rather than simply quickies.

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GF is a very honest man. He says, he doesn't read SC's tomes, since they are long and he says nothing but the truth. If he took the trouble to read them, he would have known that hardly anyone has ever put more energy and his time into promoting the notion of safe sex than the aforementioned SC.

Yeah, his postings are often long. If you have got other things to do, well, do them. If you feel like reading SC's stories and insights, feel free to do so. This isn't really a compulsory reading for any 101, when you come to think about it. And SC really doesn't personally profit from your reading his postings or not.

It seems that you at least partly, equal the notion of unsafe sex with the frequency of sexual intercourses an individual may have.

Nope, that 'time and time again' equation does not hold much truth and nope, I do not think Dr. Danny will come to your support here. It is far less important how frequently you have sex than how do you go about having it. Doing it infrequently without a condom is far more dangerous that doing it frequently with a proper condom. We all know guys who are very reluctant to get sexually involved with other people for a number of valid reasons. We also know that most of them cannot maintain their self-imposed celibacy forever and that once they break free, they may, just may, be more likely to throw all caution to the winds and play unsafe. People who go for it 'again and again' are usually, very much in control of what is going on and have no misgivings about saying a firm 'NO' to any unsafe practice they may encounter. For those having plenty of sex turning down one or the other unsafe partner really comes very easy. A 'loss' not even worth mentioning. Think about the consequnces of your views and consider redefining your definition of 'perverse', if you will.


Does the CFS work? You are right. If you have some sort of a lively gay enovironment in your town, CFS will turn out to be too slow and too cumbersome. Direct approach is simply more productive. But then, there are guys who live in a less friendly environment. For them, the boards may work.

When it comes to purely looking for a 'quickie', no web-based dating works as good and as fast as a convenient local, real life venue. Yet, many people are looking for a slightly more 'meaningful' relationship. Usually, guys are looking for some sort of sex buddies, or simply other guys they can get to know first, on no matter how a superficial level before choosing to romp in the hay with them or not. Trust me, there are good reasons for this approach.

Last, in your first post, you were wondering as to how people find time to write all these postings and shouldn't they be out cruising and possibly doing it 'time and time again'? Doesn't that sound contradictory to your second posting? Or would you deem writing these postings to be an unsafe practice?

More and more people out there are not working Mon.-Fri. 9-5. At times their projects require undivided attention and they do not come to the boards for weeks or even months at times, simply because other matters enjoy a much higher priority. By that very same token, there are times when business happens to slow down for a whole host of reasons and suddenly these people have both time and energy to use the boards and express their views. After all that's why these boards are here and for free to use.

Just my 2 cents


KD

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In the United States, if you believe the data the CDC recently published and reported is statistically accurate, there are approximately 950 thousand Americans infected with the HIV. Of these, 280 thousand Americans don't know they are infected. Each year since 1994, when new HIV infections peaked at 40 thousand, the number of new HIV has remained level. Of course, this estimate of 40 thousand new HIV infections since 1994 is averaged over time.

What is statistically significant about the nearly 1 million who now have the HIV is just over a quarter of these people don't know they are infected. What is particularly significant about this quarter of a million people is that we cannot know how they acquired the HIV -- either sexually transmitted or intravenous drug use or both.

If we only considered those people who don't know they are HIV positive, just over a quarter of a million people, we could sharply focus our attention and marshall our resources to reduce the number of new HIV infections from the currently level of 40 thousand to 20 thousand -- a fifty percent reduction in new HIV infections each year. But, what about the nearly three quarters of a million people who do know they are HIV positive?

I would like to believe that those people who do know they are HIV positive are either sexually celibate or not intravenous drug users who share needles or they are practicing safe sex 100 percent of the time without failure. Because these people do know they are HIV positive, they share the greater personal responsibility for not transmitting the HIV to other people. The "other people" -- those who are not HIV positive -- also share a part of the personal responsibility in preventing the spreading of the HIV.

I too would like to believe that these people, the "other ones" who are not HIV positive, are serious about preventing the spreading of the HIV. These people need to understand that it only takes just ONE "unprotected" episode of sex or the sharing of a needle with someone who is HIV positive to join the ranks of those who are infected with the HIV.

What these same people also need to know is that it doesn't matter whether they self-identify as either gay, bisexual or straight. The HIV is an equal opportunity infection and doesn't discriminate on the basis of a person's sexual identity, gender or age. Lastly, these "other people" need to know that self-deception about the risks of HIV infection is a close ally of self-denial -- both of which contribute to the number of new HIV infections each year.

Of course, all of this discussion is meaningless if we are not serious about making a difference in fighting the spread of HIV. Somehow or some way, we've got to connect the dots and aspire to a greater calling in our personal lives that transcends self-interest and which serves the greater interests of mankind. I guess that is just wishful thinking on my part.

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Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. And, under a just God, cannot long retain it.

-- Abraham Lincoln

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Thanks, KD, for stating what I would have felt obligated to say had you not already said it for me!



You just saved me a lot of time which I might have otherwise spent posting a response here on the boards. Now I can just go out and get my dick sucked and make everyone happy!

No, seriously... I DO feel it necessary to say in my own words:

1) First and foremost, I was responding to GWT and jokingly bantering with him. My commentary regarding filth and perversion had nothing to do with anything even remotely related to any comments posted by anyone else.

2) As duly noted by KD (and much obliged, thanks), I have ALWAYS advocated safe sex and HIV prevention. Not only here at CFS, but for years and years prior within OTHER message board systems online.

3) I never equated unsafe sex to "filth," "perversion," or anything else. I do not believe they are the same thing. ATTITUDE is what makes whatever it is. You can have a "dirty" attitude and be having a terrifically hot encounter with a buddy AND be wearing a condom at the same time. I do not agree that sex becomes or is anything other than whatever it is agreed to be between the two participants. Safe sex can be loving, it can be down and dirty, it can be whatever you want it to be. And while I don't support bare backing, this too can be whatever you want it to be.

4) I am utterly fucking SICK AND TIRED of hearing all this boring-ass motherfucking bullshit about SCRUFFY'S LONG POSTS.

How many times do I have to say it: if you don't want to read what I write -- DON'T read it!

Rest assured that I am not concerned about losing a target audience. If someone asks a question about something and they want to hear the response I or anyone else gives here, they are GOING to read it. Anyone who is INTERESTED in that same question and response is also going to read it.

I personally prefer a thorough and accurate answer than a two-word reply which doesn't help at all. Nothing is more frustrating than to ask a question and come back eager for a response only to find that no one has replied or that those who did didn't bother to say anything other than that which was already obvious in the first place.

And on a final, personal note... It drives me NUTS to listen to people whine about having to READ. If you are too lazy to read something, perhaps your online time would be better spent looking at photographs or playing games on Yahoo rather than browsing message board forums.

I was taught to read LONG before I ever entered school. I skipped two grades in reading in elementary school. I took advanced classes in high school. I never, EVER got anything less than an A in any subject that had to do with reading or writing. To me, reading is NOT A CHORE. It is NOT an annoyance. It is NOT something which loses its appeal. MY MIND does not wander. I actually have an attention span and can focus on the written word.

I can't do much for those of you out there who are not capable of this.

What YOU can do for yourself is to just go ahead and STOP READING that which is tiresome to you. When you find that you cannot concentrate any longer on what you are reading, go turn on the TV. Maybe "Elimidate" will be on and you can focus on something a bit lighter in nature that doesn't tax your neurons and synapses quite so much.

What the fuck -- is there no one left out there who has ever read an actual BOOK? This "call to brevity" with regard to the written word is something that truly and deeply frightens me. Have we become a culture that is now so freaking lazy that if information isn't displayed for us on a seventy-inch plasma TV screen we don't want to bother assimilating it?

Yikes. I hope not. I hope some of you folks still READ.

And finally -- don't give me that bullshit that "message boards aren't meant for lengthy discussion." If CFS or any other boards out there wanted to restrict post length, that is easy enough to do. There's no regulations here -- or anywhere else that I know of.

Sheesh.

I need to go get my dick sucked now.

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